


Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

by perpetuallydisorganizedwriter



Series: Say Hello, Wave Goodbye [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea what to tag, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Injury, Injury Recovery, Klaus Hargreeves/Dave Katz - Freeform, Klaus and Dave deserved better so I'm giving it to them, M/M, POV Dave, POV Klaus Hargreeves, This is my first time doing this so I hope I can add tags as I add to it, Violence, ben hargreeves - Freeform, dave katz - Freeform, klaus hargreeves - Freeform, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2020-03-29 15:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19022311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetuallydisorganizedwriter/pseuds/perpetuallydisorganizedwriter
Summary: Dave works as a nurse where he meets a patient he can't quite forget. One who he continues crossing paths with and finds himself wanting to get to know better––––––––––––––––––––––Essentially Dave and Klaus meet in the hospital and over the course of months, get to know each other.(Note: Previously titled Hello. Goodbye. Name suggested by siriuspiggyback )





	1. The Incredible Vanishing Man.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know. I've never written a fic on here and it's been years since I've written my first and only fic, but I woke up and couldn't shake the beginning of this story from my mind. Not all of it will be in Dave's pov. It will alternate between Klaus, Dave, and probably a few others as chapters are added. I just love these two and wish they had gotten a happier storyline.

It was winter when he had first seen him.

Dave had barely been working there a week when he showed up. It was a routine overdose. A malnourished junkie with no name and the most intriguing hand tattoos. _Hello. Goodbye._ Fitting. He had been in the bed one minute, still unconscious, and by the time Dave had come back, he was gone.

_The Incredible Vanishing Man._ That's what the nurses called him. He was apparently a regular but never stayed longer than it took to wake up and haul himself out of there. Regardless of what condition he had come in.

"He'll be back," the other nurse had sighed as she began undressing the bed. "He always is." And he was.

A month later, he was rolled in. This time bleeding and out of his mind from pills he had scored in some alley somewhere. It was then he learned his name. _Klaus._

Klaus had a beautiful smile. So beautiful it was easy not to notice everything that hid behind it. He had stayed only long enough for Dave to stitch his skin back together. An accident, he called it. He was gone before the cops arrived.

It took four whole months for Dave to see him again. He had almost missed him. His shift was ending when Klaus came in. His face was badly bruised and his arm was dislocated. Fell down some stairs, he said, but everyone knew that was a lie. He wanted to ask why he did it. Why he pumped himself full of poison. Why he allowed people to see just how much of him they could _break_ before he couldn’t keep going. But he didn't.

Instead, he listened to Klaus speak. He talked a lot. So much that if you didn't pay attention you would miss the bits that mattered. Sandwiched between jokes and outrageous stories were bits of _who_ Klaus was. He reminded Dave of a magician. All smoke and mirrors. Sleight of hand and misdirections. It was easy to miss the flashes of who he was behind it all. _The pain. The fear._ It was hard not to get distracted. Klaus had years of practice behind him. He was a professional.

Autumn was beginning when he saw him again. He had finished work and was on his way to pick up some food. It was an unusually chilly evening in October. The air smelled decaying leaves and wet pavement from a passing rain shower. The cold numbed his exposed skin, making him miss the warmth of summer. 

"Hey." The slurred voice caught his attention, and he almost didn't stop. He knew better than to stop, but something told him to look. "You got a light?" He watched as Klaus stepped out of the dark alley between closed shops, his movements sluggish, his shoulders drooping as he stepped forward only to lean against the brick wall. He was wildly underdressed for the cold. Sporting a mesh crop top and leather pants with stitching running the length of his slender legs. His fur trimmed coat looked like it had been chosen more for how it looked on him than how well it functioned

"Klaus?"

A moment passed as the man in question looked at him, struggling to place his face before he finally let out a laugh –the sound surprisingly light. " _Oh! Hey._ I know you. You're the nurse who…" His words trailed off as his gaze grew distant for a moment. Dave watched as Klaus turned his head, looking at the air beside him before giving a small nod and continuing, his tired gaze returning to Dave. " _popped_ my arm back in." He made a popping sound as he spoke, his words punctuated by another tired laugh. "You got a light?" Klaus waved his damp cigarette, but Dave was focused on other things.

Klaus looked _thin._ Thinner than before. His hip bones jutting out, his cheeks hollow. He looked more skeleton than man. The sight was both horrifying and heartbreaking.

"No, I don't." Dave paused as he thought, contemplating his next words carefully before he continued. "I was about to get some dinner. Would you like to join me?"


	2. Sixty Seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. This took a lot longer than I thought it would between how hectic things have gotten on my end and the re-realization that I SUCK at dialog. I'm so happy to see that people like this so far. It's been so long since I've done something like this so I'm rusty as heck but it truly warms the cockles of me heart to know people are enjoying this. I'm working on furthering things along but also want to show both sides of things. Please bear with me. 
> 
> This chapter ended up being a bit more angsty than I thought and there are depictions of a panic attack as well as mentions of drug use so please proceed with caution. I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone. 
> 
> This one is in Klaus' POV btw.  
> 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Klaus lived his life a moment at a time. Rarely did he allow himself to think ~~obsess~~ about what was to come. It was a trick he learned as a child. After the third or fourth time being locked in the mausoleum, he learned to take things one minute at a time. He could survive anything for sixty seconds. Then, when the minute was up, he started again.

Time had passed. He was no longer the frightened little thing tucked away in the corner of the mausoleum – _not that it didn't follow him._ He returned to that place often. It could be something as simple as a narrow stairwell. One second he was trudging up the steps with no end in sight and the next, he was surrounded by screaming, _pleading_ , faces.

_Sixty seconds._

With time, he had learned to handle things for longer stretches, but on the bad days, he could only handle a minute. Today had been one of those days.

Klaus wasn't exactly sure what chain of events had ended with him leaning against a grimy alley wall, the smell of trash and old piss assaulting his senses as he dug around for the lighter that he could have sworn was there an hour ago. All he knew was that the path from the motel room this morning to the alley was paved with shots, hungry hands, and quite a few colorful pills. He was tired, sore and wanted nothing more than to curl up and rest for even a few minutes. It was Ben who stopped him from doing so.

Sighing, he pulled his coat closer to his body when the sound of footsteps drew his attention. If he couldn't rest, the least he could do was get a light.

"Hey," he called out as he made his way into the light again only to lean on the brick buildings exterior –an attempt to keep himself from sliding to the floor. "You got a light?" He hoped his expression looked hopeful but knew it leaned more towards needy as he stared at the stranger. What he hadn't expected was for the man to _recognize_ him. Blinking, Klaus leaned forward a little and squinted his eyes. He was handsome and he _did_ look familiar. Only a moment later did it click. "Oh! Hey. I know you. You're the nurse who…" Trailing off, his mind wandered to that night. The guy had seemed nice enough –they almost always did at first– but things had gotten violent fast. Words were said, punches were thrown, he had tried to run but he was pulled back harshly and then… _pain._

"Klaus!"

Snapping from his thoughts, Klaus turned to look at Ben who kindly reminded him he was saying something. _Oh, right_. Turning back to the stranger, he smiled. ""popped my arm back in." He laughed though the memory was anything but amusing. It was then that he remembered the cigarette situated between his fingers. "You got a light?"

A moment more passed and he could feel the weight of this man's gaze. He wanted to shrink away from it, step back into the darkened alley so only his voice could be heard, but didn't. Instead, he stared back, gaze slowly drifting up the man's body. Taking it all in. He wasn't bad to look at, but Klaus could do without the _pity_ in his eyes. It was something he had seen often enough. When people looked at him there was usually one of two things staring back at him; pity and _disgust_. He often preferred the latter. Disgust he could handle, but pity… Nothing made him feel quite as pathetic as someone looking at him and deciding he was something in need of charity. Like if they could just help him, they could brag to God herself about what a good person they were.

What he hadn't expected, however, was the man's dinner invitation.

" _Well, that was unexpected._ "

Turning to look at Ben, Klaus gave a quick nod in agreement before turning his attention back to the stranger, his gaze curious rather than cautious.

"You going to kill me? Because I'll have you know I would make a terrible suit." He leaned back again as he spoke, unlit cigarette dangling limply from between his fingers while he watched the man blink in response.

"What? _No_. No, I just –I always order way too much and thought that maybe you…" The man paused and Klaus could practically hear the gears turning as he put careful consideration into his next words. "I just thought it would be nice to have some company for once." It was a lie. Klaus knew this, but he still smiled. At least this man was making an effort to hide his reasons behind the invitation.

"What did you say your name was?" He must have learned it at some point, but Klaus' memory was a fickle thing. It clung to things he wished he could forget and more often than not forgot things he wishes he could remember. Like where the hell he left his lighter.

"Dave. It's Dave."

Patting his pockets again, Klaus smiled. _Dave._ Yeah, that fit. He looked like a Dave. Not that he had any preconceived thoughts on what a Dave looked like, but hearing the name and seeing the man it belonged to… It just felt _right_.

"Dave." He tested it out before giving a nod and waved his free hand, the word _Hello_ inked permanently on the palm in bold black letters. "Alright, Dave. But any funny business and… Well, you did buy me dinner first so I guess it's fine." He grinned now as he pocketed the cigarette and moved to join his dinner companion.

A minute passed as they began to walk and then another before Klaus finally spoke up, unable to take the silence any longer.

"So, tell me about yourself."

_And he did._

He learned that Dave was short for David. He was born and raised in a Jewish household in a small town in Utah. He had three sisters, two older and one younger. His mother was a kindergarten teacher and his father a mechanic. They still loved each other as fiercely as they did the day they married. Almost annoyingly so. Growing up he had a dog named Grover who was as dumb as a bag of rocks and never missed an opportunity to jump in the pond by his house. As a child, he wanted to be a doctor but winded up in nursing instead –a decision he didn't regret. He also learned that Dave not only rambled when he was nervous but gesticulated quite a bit. It was endearing.

By the time the two reached the Chinese restaurant, Klaus found that he wanted to know more about this man. To know his likes and dislikes. To hear what he thought about things like The Golden Girls and Chicago deep dish. He personally wasn't a fan of the latter, but he thought it said a lot about a person.

" _Okay_ , I have a confession to make and I want to get it out there before we go inside," Dave stated as he moved to open the door for Klaus. "I didn't order yet." He said this like he was confessing to a murder, his breath escaping in a relieved sigh as the weight was lifted off of him. It took a moment for Klaus to remember he had previously stated that he had in order to persuade Klaus to join him. The realization had him breathing out a laugh.

"Does this mean I can request spring rolls?" Klaus' gaze was hopeful as he slipped past Dave with a smile that the man returned. "Danke schön."

"You're welcome and you can pick whatever you want."

The interior of the restaurant was warm and the smell of food reminded Klaus that he hadn't eaten all day. Shots of liquor and little pills didn't count according to Ben. Suddenly he felt out of place. Like he should have waited outside rather than enter the restaurant with Dave. Still, he trailed behind him, glancing from the friendly staff to Ben as if silently asking his brother what he was supposed to do here. Unfortunately, Ben didn't have much experience in things like this either.

With the rare exception here and there, Klaus didn't have experience doing this sort of thing with another person. The men he usually met had only wanted one thing from him and that thing was best given in a darkened car, or the alley of a sketchy dive bar, or in the bathroom of a club. To spend time getting to know someone, and have an actual meal with them…it was uncharted territory. Even the men he did share meals with required him to share an orgasm first.

Klaus stuffed his still cold hands into his pockets, fidgeting as he glanced around the small restaurant. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed Dave was speaking.

"Klaus? …Klaus?"

Turning his head, he jumped slightly as he saw the man looking at him, his expression concerned now.

"You alright?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. What were you saying?"   _He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have agreed. He should go._

"I was asking what you would like."

Klaus paused now, his expression pensive, his thoughts divided between the man, the situation, and the all too familiar feeling blooming in his chest. _Fuck._ "I –uh." Klaus looked toward the exit and held up a hand. "I need some air. Uh, surprise me. I'll be right back."

Giving a small wave, the young man turned and moved swiftly toward the door and out of the restaurant before Dave could reply –Or maybe he had and Klaus hadn't heard it. He felt out of breath, his hands shaking as he breathed in deeply. He could hear Ben beside him, already having worked out what was happening.

The cold air was welcome as Klaus stepped through the doorway, allowing it to close behind him as he closed his eyes.

"Breathe, Klaus. It'll pass. …Slowly."

Klaus nodded as he took in a deep breath only to let it out too soon. He could feel the panic rising up inside of him, growing too big for his chest to contain. He had images of his bones cracking with the pressure playing in his mind. He envisioned his skin tearing open, his panic taking on a corporeal form, spilling out for all to see. Panic attacks were nothing new for him. He had suffered from them ever since he was a child and while he knew that he wasn't dying, he could never get used to the way it felt. The way it rose up, deceptively slow at first before it crashed over him, threatened to pull him under. It didn't always have a reason. Sometimes it would sneak up. He would be laughing one minute and curled up the next.

"Breathe."

He tried not to give in to it. Tried not to let it swallow him whole. Tried to keep the ghosts that followed away. Sticking a hand in his pocket, he pulled out the small baggie and shook it out into his palm.

_One, two, three._

He looked down at the pills, his gaze lingering on the thing that had stolen so much from him but kept him going. _The villain and the savior._

"Don't."

His brother barely got the word out before Klaus popped the pills into his mouth, biting down on them rather than swallowing. He needed it _now_. Even without looking to Ben, he could hear the disappointment in his breath, but he didn't express it. He didn't need to. It was an argument they so often it didn't always need to be given a voice. Opening his eyes, Klaus sighed as the drug took hold, washing away what he had felt and replacing it with something artificial. Something easier to handle.

"Come on. I could use a drink." He began to walk away, not bothering to look back at the restaurant or at Dave, knowing full well that if he did, he would want to stay. It wasn't him. Dinner, conversation… Stolen kisses, wandering, eager, feral hands… _regret_ … _That_ was him. He ignored Ben's protests as he began to walk, pulling his coat tighter around his thin frame but stopped as another voice joined in. A voice he had only just begun to get to know but enjoyed hearing more than he would admit to himself.

" _Klaus_!"  



	3. Spring Rolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is honestly so incredibly lovely to hear that not only do people like this fic so far but that parts of it resonate with them. I just hope I don't flub it up! 
> 
> This chapter is shorter, but I hope the next will be longer.

He had known something was wrong. For as much as Klaus spoke, his eyes always seemed to say even more. Never before had he met someone with such _expressive_ eyes. Dave thought it was going pretty well until that point -nervous rambling aside, but as they entered the restaurant, he could see a shift in the man by his side.

His steps were more hesitant, his gaze flitted around, his attention scattered so finely that he while he was looking at everything, he didn't seem to pay attention to any of it. And then, he ran off.

Dave had called out to him, but the man was gone before he could get more than one or two words out. He was a monochromatic blur of blacks and browns and suddenly, Dave didn't know what to do.

He had never been in this situation before. It wasn't like he normally picked people off the street to share a meal with and never before had he tried to get to know a patient – _past_ patient– better. Sure, he tried to get to know them when they were in his unit. He would ask them about themselves, both interested to know and eager to distract. Most of the people he had met were experiencing one of the worst days or nights of their lives, but Klaus felt _different._

Under all that… Well, he didn't have a word for it. _Pizzazz_? _God,_ that word seemed stupid, but it was the best he had. Under all of it, he could see something _more_. He didn't know why, but he wanted to find out what it was.

Dave stared at the door Klaus left through, wondering if he should go after him. Maybe he just needed fresh air. Maybe he wouldn't be there when he came out. The thought brought a sudden pang of sorrow.

"What can I get you?"

The voice pulled him from his thoughts and Dave turned to look at the young woman. She looked exhausted. Glancing back at the door, Dave flip-flopped between the decision to order or ask for a second to see if Klaus was alright.

" _Spring rolls_. Like, six orders," he blurted out finally, looking to the woman. Though she looked surprised, she nodded and told him what he owed her. The moment Dave paid, he was already turning to leave, calling out that he would be right back. What he hoped was that he wouldn't be alone when he did.

Pushing open the door, Dave was disappointed to see Klaus wasn't there.

"Damn." He turned his head, looking for the young man only to spot him walking away. "Klaus!" Dave picked up his pace, calling out the man's name a couple more times before he stopped. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Klaus gave a little wave as he spoke, his tone a little strained and his expression guilty.

Frowning, Dave looked at Klaus. _Really looked at him._ There was something different about him and the thought that Dave would notice such a thing was absurd. They barely knew each other, but he could see a difference in the way Klaus carried himself, his shoulders slumped, hands hanging limply at his sides. It was there in the slight downturn of his lips, the way the light caught in his green eyes. He looked like he had been close to crying. He seemed so… _small_. And then it was gone. Klaus straightened up, a broad grin gracing his pallid features. The change was sudden and startling.

"I'm just getting some air." Klaus moved closer now, swaying a little with each step but stopped short, tilting his head as he studied Dave.

"Uh…" He didn't know what to say. "I ordered the food. If you…still want." Was he changing his mind? He had been leaving, hadn't he? The thought saddened him. If Klaus left now, he didn't know when he would see him again. Bumping into each other tonight had been a miracle and in Dave's experience, those were rare. For all he knew, he wouldn't see Klaus for months if at all.

"Why…" Klaus paused, seeming to rethink his choice of words. Something he didn't often do from the limited conversations they shared. "You know you don't need to feed me if you just want sex."

The words caught Dave off guard. He stared at Klaus, wondering where the hell that had come from.

"What? I don't."

"You don't swing that way?" This seemed to surprise Klaus.

"No. It's not that. I didn't invite you for sex."

A beat passed, Klaus' expression both surprised and confused.

"Then what? What do you want from me?"

"What makes you think I want something from you?" This earned a scoff from Klaus. _Well, that hurt_. Pressing his lips together, he watched as Klaus rubbed his eyes. He looked older now. Worn down, frayed at the seams.

"Everyone does."

The statement was so simple, so certain. It made Dave's chest tighten. He didn't want anything from Klaus. To get to know him. To make sure he had something to eat. Maybe his desires were a little selfish after all. He felt bad for Klaus, but it was more than that. He _liked_ him. God, that was so stupid to think. He had barely known this man. He knew that, but from the first time he had seen him, he had known there was something different about him. The thought made him feel like such a cliche, but there was no other way for Dave to put it. He enjoyed being around Klaus and yes he worried for him –who wouldn't, but he only wanted the chance to get to know him.

"Not everyone does."

Again, Klaus scoffed. " _Bullshit_. Everyone wants something. That's the way the world works so if it isn't sex, then what is it? I don't have money. Do you just get off helping people?"

Okay, that stung. Dave looked down, suddenly feeling like he had made a mistake here. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe he shouldn't have looked when Klaus called out. Dave sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck, not knowing what to say to that. He never liked conflict. Even as a child, he hated hearing people argue almost as much as he hated being the one doing the arguing, but he didn't want to leave things like this.

"People are capable of giving a shit about someone without wanting something in return," Dave stated after a lengthy pause. "I didn't ask you because I want something from you or because I 'get off' helping people." He moved his hands as he spoke, his own tone growing exasperated. " _Look_ , you don't need to have dinner with me, but give me a second. Just one second." Holding up a finger, he gave Klaus a pleading look before running back into the restaurant.

Coming back out, he hadn't expected Klaus to be there, but he was. He had moved to lean against a wall, his attention on the air beside him. He could hear the man muttering, arguing with the empty space. It worried Dave, but he didn't comment on it.

"Here." He held out the bag and a napkin with his number scrawled on it. "If you need anything or just want to talk, you can call me on there. Actually…" He handed the bag off to Klaus and pulled out a pen to scrawl his address too. "You can find me there or the hospital." Maybe it wasn't a good idea, but despite how things had gone, he hoped that they could talk again sometime. Preferably _not_ after Klaus was brought in by paramedics. "I'm serious. If you ever want to talk to someone who won't ask for anything in return, you know where to find me." He handed Klaus the napkin now, hoping he wouldn't lose or toss it. "Stay safe, Klaus." Dave offered a smile and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, you too."

With that, Dave gave a nod and turned. It almost hurt to walk away, but he wasn't one to push. He just hoped that this wasn't goodbye.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally hoped this chapter would go a different direction, but for me, it would make sense for Klaus to have some trust issues. He wasn't shown a lot of kindness growing up and after living on the street for years it will take some time to trust and realize that not everyone wants something in return. 
> 
> I swear they will get there though. Lord knows they deserve happiness after everything.


	4. Wandering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning. There are somewhat detailed mentions of substance abuse so please don't read if that sort of thing is a trigger for you. Stay safe, my dudes. ♥

What had made Klaus say those words, he didn't know. All his life he had been wanted from. His father had wanted a functional and obedient crime deterrent, the people who gathered just for a glimpse of them on their way home from a mission had wanted a hero, his siblings had wanted a brother who wasn't a fuck up and everyone else… Well, they wanted _him_. Whether it was just a piece or someone to warm their bed at night. So, to have this guy trying to help. It just didn't sit right with him. No one was ever nice just to be nice.

Still, while Klaus stood there, holding the bag and napkin and watching Dave walk away, he finally felt that regret he was so familiar with.

"Yeah, I know Ben."

"He was just being nice."

" _Yeah, I know._ " Klaus sighed, torn between going after him and just cutting his losses. He never was good at chasing things he wanted –unless it was a high– but that was something he knew. This was something else entirely. Swallowing, Klaus cradled the bag with one arm, grateful for the warmth but guilty that he had taken the man's meal. He looked at the phone number and address scrawled on the napkin with the name Dave Katz on the top. "I'm a prick, aren't I?"

"Yup. Let's get somewhere warm. It looks like it's going to rain again."

Klaus sighed but nodded, looking back to the space Dave had been before turning and walking the opposite direction. Perhaps he did get something from his father after all. He was an asshole. Klaus let out a heavy sigh and looked at the bag in his arms. Just as he opened it, the first drop hit. _It was all spring rolls._

A couple of months passed since that night and winter was proving to be a bitch. Huddled in some alley, Klaus untied the scarf from his arm just as it began to snow. He allowed his eyes to close, riding the wave of euphoria that made up for the serious crash he had been experiencing minutes before. It was the closest to heaven that he would ever get. The world was muffled as he lingered in that in-between place. That place where nothing hurt and everything was perfect. Even Ben, who had been arguing with him just a few seconds before, had shut up. Or maybe he was gone. Maybe he had enough. The thought normally would have frightened Klaus but all he did was twitch the fingers on his left hand, a wordless goodbye before his head lolled and he passed out.

Only seconds seemed to pass before he woke but he knew it was probably closer to three or four hours, his eyelids heavy as he searched for Ben's voice. He felt like he was underwater. Slowly the alley bled into focus and he realized just how cold it was. Klaus curled up, struggling to focus on his brother.

"Get up…"

Klaus shook his head, curling up further against the rough brick exterior. He tried to speak, but his mouth wasn't working yet.

"Klaus! Get up!" Despite the fog that had settled over his mind, Klaus could hear the frustration in Ben's voice. Lifting a hand, he rubbed his face before letting his hand fall down again. "Get the fuck up, you junkie asshole!"

 _Okay, he was serious._ Silently, Klaus opened his eyes, head lolling but he began to move. It took a while but eventually, he was standing on the ghost of limbs and leaned against the wall. He wanted nothing more than to lay down, but with the way his body shook, he knew that he shouldn't.

"Good, okay. How much money do you have left?"

Klaus let out a sound somewhere between a scoff and a wheeze.

"None. I gave it all to Blue." His words were slow and melted together but clear enough that Ben sighed heavily.

"Nothing for a motel then…" A pause followed as Ben thought and Klaus had to stop himself from slipping down the wall. Logically he knew it was too cold to be out at night, but sleep sounded so good. "We could go to the bus station. At least then you'll be inside. You can hide in a stall for the night." He was exhausted just thinking about it but nodded.

"Yeah, fine," he whispered before letting out a cough and searching his pockets for his cigarettes. His fingers felt numb and clumsy and he groaned as he pulled out a napkin instead. Sighing, he was about to toss it to the side before noticing the writing on it. "Huh.." It took an embarrassing amount of time to remember who it had belonged to. "Ah, spring rolls."

" _What_?"

Lifting up the napkin, Klaus gave it a wave. "Spring rolls… _Dave_." The man had been nice and _he_ had been an asshole about it. Sadly, he pocketed the napkin again and pulled out the metal tin instead. "Let's go."

The pair had lasted maybe two hours before they were removed from the station by a security guard saying something about how they were sorry but it was policy and to find somewhere warm to stay. By then it was almost four in the morning and bitterly cold. He still felt out of it but was already thinking of having another hit though he knew it wasn't wise. At least not until he had somewhere warm to hide out. He looked at Ben who looked almost as exhausted as he felt.

"The church?" Most were closed already, but Klaus knew of one he could hide out in. Problem was, it wasn't even close and his skin was already numbing again from the cold. He took Ben's nod as agreement and set out, wondering if getting high in a church was a hell-bound offense. Not that he was sure hell was an actual place. He was fairly certain it was nothing more than a scary story to keep people in line and even if it wasn't he was damn sure he would go there anyway.

The two were maybe three blocks from it when Klaus stopped to fish another cigarette from his pocket, pausing as he contemplated taking a shot from his flask. No. Alcohol and cold weather were a bad mix. Shaking his head, he looked up to see what street they were on, realizing that the address looked familiar. He stared up at the sign, eyes squinting before it clicked. Placing the cigarette between his lips, he fought the urge to cough and fished the napkin out of his pocket. Yup, same street.

Klaus pulled out his lighter only to tuck both it and the unlit cigarette back into his pocket, eyes lingering on the messily scrawled address. If anything, the least he could do was apologize. Though it was late –or early. Looking around, he spotted the numbers on the buildings before walking off, Ben trailing silently behind him. It was probably a bad idea. Most people would be furious with him showing up at their door so late, but he just wanted to see the place. If anything, he could keep going to the church.

It was an apartment building. Klaus paused, looking up at the looming architecture before stepping up to the glass doors. They opened up into a small room, with another set of doors, these locked. He looked at the buttons on the wall, finding the one that said Katz.

"Maybe we should go," Ben stated quietly as though he could be heard by anyone who wasn't Klaus. He was probably right. It was late and there was no guarantee that he would even be home. Nurses worked odd hours, didn't they?

"You're right. This is stupid. Maybe I could just sit here for a bit. Warm up." The small lobby space wasn't exactly what most would call warm, but it was a world of difference from outside. At the very least, it was away from the wind. Klaus didn't wait for his brother's reply as he slid down the wall to sit on the tiled flooring and curled up to rest his forehead on his knees. By the time he opened his eyes again, he saw that he wasn't alone. Looking up, he could see a police officer who apparently had been speaking. "What?"

"Do you live here?"

Klaus opened his mouth, his mind still groggy. He felt like shit and rather than reply, he let out a horrible cough.

"Sir, if you don't live here I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This is a private residence and you're trespassing."

Sighing, Klaus struggled to get up and tensed when he felt hands on him. "Don't!" He jerked his arm away, stumbling back a little. "Don't touch me. I'm getting up. I just… I just need a second."

"Sir, have you taken anything?" The officer stared at him now, brows furrowed.

"No. I'm just…not feeling well." Klaus finally stood on his shaky legs and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He could feel more people watching him and as he turned, he could see several people gathered behind the second set of glass doors, no doubt eager to watch the whole show unfold. He wondered which one had called the cops.

"Sir."

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving," Klaus muttered as he took a step toward the doors, making sure to keep enough distance between him and the officer. He was about to push open the doors when someone else opened them, the face familiar but surprised.

" _Klaus_."

"Oh, _hey_. I came to apologize about your spring rolls."

"What are…" Dave turned to look at the officer who watched them curiously. "Is there a problem, officer?"

"Do you know this young man?"

"Yeah, he's… He's a friend. He was supposed to meet me here. We must have gotten our times mixed up. Sorry."

With that, the officer nodded, seemingly glad to have the situation sorted without needing to handcuff anyone.

"Alright. You two have a good morning and you…" The officer turned to look at Klaus. "Try not to sleep in lobbies. It isn't safe." Klaus simply nodded and watched the officer leave before returning his attention back to Dave. The man was dressed in scrubs and looked worried as well as tired.

"Alright. I'm just gonna go. Sorry again," Klaus stated and turned only to stop again as he felt Dave's hand gently touch his arm.

"How long have you been out here?"

Klaus shrugged. "Not long. It won't happen again."

Dave paused, looking at him before letting out a soft sigh. "Come on up. You don't look so great."

"What? I feel _fantastic_." This earned a small smile from Dave, but the overwhelming concern was still there. With a sigh, Klaus nodded, allowing Dave to lead the way. The residents scattered, murmuring amongst themselves, but Klaus didn't care. It wasn't the first time he had been the subject of gossip and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last.  



	5. Soul Kitchen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope you're all having a great day or night.

Leading the way upstairs, Dave had to glance back to make sure Klaus was still there. Had it not been for the horrible state of the man following him, he would have thought it was a dream. Dave hoped he would hear from him, but after the first three weeks with no call and no voicemails, his hope had begun to fade. At that point, he had hoped to at least get a glimpse of him, but Klaus hadn't come in and Dave hadn't spotted him on any of his outings. He had even annoyed his fellow nurses, asking so often if Klaus had been admitted before his shift, that they now greeted him by saying he hadn't been by. About a week ago, he had even called the morgue just to be sure he was _alive_ but that felt weird and slightly stalkerish so he hadn't called again. He knew people like Klaus often flirted with death. He just worried that Death would flirt back.

He was here now though and as they both reached his apartment, Dave took a moment to look at him. Klaus was pale. Paler than he had ever seen him and his body was frail and shaking, and despite the cold, he face was covered in a fine layer of sweat. "Don't mind the mess," Dave stated as he unlocked the door and opened it so Klaus could go in first. "My sister, Jane, was here for the week and the kid's a hurricane." He loved her dearly, but he was fairly certain that she had no idea where the kitchen sink was and had just discovered his vinyl collection. The other day he had come home to find LPs everywhere and a can of orange soda resting on his _The Hollies' Greatest Hits_ album. He nearly had a stroke.

Dave watched as Klaus hesitated at his doorway, turning to look at him and then the space beside him before he slowly entered the apartment. It was strange to see him there, but nice.

"It's nice," Klaus whispered as he walked down the small hallway that branched into the kitchen on his right and then opened up to the living room. "Do you live by yourself?"

"Mmhm." Dave nodded as he moved to adjust the thermostat to warm the room a little more as he looked at Klaus. "It's just me. I had a roommate for a month, but she had to move back home so now it's just a guest room for family and stuff." He could barely afford the place and had been contemplating moving to another apartment in the building. Something smaller and more in his price range, but for now he was able to make it work.

Klaus hummed in reply as he glanced around with wide eyes.

"You look cold. I'll get you something warmer you can change into." Dave offered an awkward smile as he brushed past Klaus and went to his room, calling out behind him. "Have you eaten? I think I have some leftover pizza or I could make something else. Do you like eggs? I think I have some eggs. I also have waffles, but they are those frozen ones. I had a waffle maker, but Jane dropped it, like, two days ago and I haven't replaced it yet." He returned to the living room with a T-shirt, his favorite sweatpants, and a fresh towel to find Klaus looking at one of the albums Jane had left on the couch. "That's one of my favorites. There is a song on there called _Soul Kitchen_. It's…great." Realizing he had been rambling, Dave offered a nervous smile and looked down at the stack of cloth in his arms. "If you want you can take a hot shower or bath or whatever while I heat up some food. It might help warm you up a bit."

He held out the bundle, his small smile growing as Klaus offered an awkward one in return. "Yeah, thanks," Klaus said, at last, his voice hoarse. "Uh, where is it?"

"At the end of that hall. You literally can't miss it." With that, Klaus nodded stiffly and disappeared down the hallway, muttering a small thanks as he went. After a moment, he could hear the sound of the tub filling.

Sighing to himself, Dave moved around to tidy the room a little. From stray records to plates in random spots with hardened half-eaten sandwiches to a pair of _Rick and Morty_ knee highs on the coffee table –the room was a _mess._ He shook his head and turned on some music as he took the last of the dirty plates to the kitchen, depositing them in the sink before washing his hands and going to cook. He wasn't the best cook. Half the time his food was underdone and the other half looked like it had been an attempt at at-home cremation. Thankfully, this was one of the rare cases where his bacon and eggs didn't run the risk of making anyone sick or could be doubled as a weapon to fend off home intruders.

Hearing the album end, Dave peeked out to see Klaus standing barefoot in his sweats changing out the record for another. Soul kitchen filled the air, making Dave smile before he dipped back into the kitchen to grab both plates.

"I hope you like eggs and bacon. It's turkey bacon," he stated as he walked out, offering an apologetic smile when Klaus jumped, hand flying up to touch his chest as he spoke. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. ..Did you just say Christ on a Cracker?" Placing the plates on the coffee table, he turned to look when Klaus spoke.

" 'S alright," Klaus muttered as he pushed up his sleeves a little. His color looked a little better, his face even a little flushed. "Yeah, I did." The admission made Dave smile.

" _Hm_ …Hold on." Leaving the room, Dave returned with a couple mugs of tea and some medicine. "I heard you coughing in there. This'll help." He placed his own mug down before handing Klaus the other as well as the medicine, fighting the urge to reach out and touch his face to see if the flush of his cheeks was just from the bath or something more serious. He didn't have a chance to ask, however, when Klaus spoke up again, his voice rough.

"Thank you." The words were stiff from lack of use like he didn't say them often or speaking took a great deal of effort. Dave could see he wasn't the only one feeling awkward. Still, the man's smile turned soft.

"You don't need to thank me. Do you mind if I…" His words trailed off as he lifted his hand, gesturing to Klaus. "I just want to see if you have a fever." He clarified, understanding if Klaus didn't want to be touched. When the young man nodded, Dave offered a small smile and reached out to touch his face, raising his brows at the way Klaus seemed to lean into the touch a little, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment before he pulled away again. Dave could feel his own cheeks heat in response but offered a faint smile, concern threatening to tug down the edges. "You feel hot. I'm going to get my thermometer, but you should eat before it gets cold."

When Dave returned, he found Klaus on the couch, sleepily sipping his tea and nodding his head to the music. He had set the record to start again. "I like this one," he whispered as he spotted Dave. His food had barely been touched, but anything was better than nothing.

"It's their best, in my opinion." Moving to sit near Klaus but making sure to keep enough space between them, he offered him the thermometer which Klaus reluctantly took. He watched as the man popped it in his mouth before picking up his own plate. A beat of silence passed as he poked at his own food before he looked to Klaus. He looked exhausted and he wondered just when he had last gotten a good nights sleep. "If you want, you can crash here." He tried to sound nonchalant as he made the offer, worried it would lead to an argument like the last time they had spoken. The last thing he wanted to do was argue, but it didn't seem like Klaus had the energy to either. Instead, he lifted his chin and dropped it in a meager attempt at a nod just as the thermometer beeped.

Dave watched as Klaus took it from between his lips and struggled to read it before letting out a quiet groan. "101," he stated, giving the thing a shake as if he could simply erase the evidence. Dave frowned and gently took it from him to give it a look himself. Sure enough, he had read it right. Sighing, he placed his plate back down and picked up the untouched medicine, measuring out a dose and holding it out to Klaus.

"Take this." Klaus frowned in response, reminding him of a child but took it anyway. He drank it quickly and chased it with the last of his tea. "It'll help you feel better," Dave stated the obvious as he took both cups back and placed them on the table. He watched as Klaus seemed to curl in on himself, hugging his legs so he could rest his head on his knees. He noted the way the man's body shivered despite the heat radiating off of him. Dave stood and began to clear the little table, leaving only his own cup and Klaus' plate in case he wanted to finish it.

"You know…" he began but stopped as he entered the room again to see Klaus had fallen asleep. "I'm really glad you came." The rest of the statement was whispered as he looked at the man, unsure if he should leave him or help him to the spare room. After a while, he decided to leave him there and grabbed a blanket and spare pillow. He was placing them on the couch when Klaus startled awake, his gaze unfocused as his gaze darted around the room before eventually landing on Dave. "It's okay. Just lay down," he told him softly as he moved a throw pillow and a half-eaten donut that Jane had hidden behind it and placed the spare pillow in its place. Klaus muttered something he didn't understand but sounded an awful lot like either the squirrels are invading or Vanya won't stop playing then stretched out, barely placing his head down before he was out again. Dave looked at him for a long moment before giving his head a small shake and putting the thin blanket over him.

He felt exhausted. It had been a long day at work and he wanted nothing more than to go to bed, but he wanted to make sure Klaus' fever broke first. Picking up his mug, he moved into an armchair and glanced at Klaus before he felt weird watching the man sleep. Instead, he took a sip of his now cold tea and allowed his eyes to close for a moment, his foot tapping quietly to the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear they will talk more in the next chapter.


	6. Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said there would be more of Klaus and Dave talking in this chapter but I, being the dumbass that I am, forgot. I wanted to give writing Ben a try and by the time I remembered I was almost done with this chapter. That being said I already wrote out the next one and that will be in Klaus' point of view so it will def have Klaus and Dave spending time together. I'll also post that today but need to get some errands done first. 
> 
> There are some mentions of substance abuse in this chapter as well.

There were times when Ben hated Klaus. It only ever lasted a few seconds or minutes when it was a particularly bad day, but it was there. He wasn't sure if it really was Klaus he hated or the choices he had made. For years following his death, he stuck with his brother. Whether it was out of loneliness, worry, or loyalty, he no longer knew. What he did knew was that it _hurt_. It hurt to see the choices Klaus made. To see how he treated his life so _carelessly_. How he threw it away with every _pill,_ every _hit_ , every _shot._  
  
Sometimes he wanted to scream at him. Get in his face and demand to know why he did it. Why he couldn't see what a _gift_ life was, but he knew why. Their father had not been kind to any of them –maybe to Luther, but Luther had always been his favorite. Their father was not kind and perhaps he treated Klaus the worse.  
  
It had taken a year after Ben died for Klaus to tell him what Reginald had done. What those overnight training sessions consisted of. What the dead were like when their ties to the world were long since severed. After that, he understood why Klaus chased them away with everything he had, but it didn't make watching his brother deteriorate get any easier. The worst part was, Ben couldn't do a _damn thing_ about it. Sure, he could lecture and argue, but at the end of the day, Klaus was going to do what he wanted with his body. It didn't matter that he risked losing everything like Ben had. He just wanted _peace_. Even if that peace was fragmented, only lasting a few hours at a time.  
  
Sitting in the apartment, Ben's attention drifted between his sleeping brother and the man that helped him out. He wasn't sure how he felt about him yet, but he could see the stupid look they shared. The way they looked at one another when the other wasn't paying attention. Jealousy drifted up within him only for him to shove it back down. He was happy Klaus seemed to like someone nice for once. His brother never did have the best taste in men –or women for that matter. He always seemed to pick the ones with the nice smile only to ignore the fact that those bare teeth doubled as a weapon.  
  
He watched time and time again as Klaus began what could only loosely be considered a relationship with someone only for him to leave with bruises on his skin and a vacant look in his eyes. Most only lasted a night, but a night was all they needed.  
  
The sound of movement caught Ben's attention and he watched as Dave get up only to clear the last of the dishes from the coffee table. He heard the sink start to run and got up to look around. With the exception of the living room and guest room, the apartment was fairly tidy. There were books lining the walls and he wished he could pick them up or even run his fingers along their spines. He missed that _freedom_. He missed being able to go and read what he wanted when he wanted. Now, he had to hope Klaus would indulge him for just a little while.  
  
Sometimes they would go to the book store or library. Klaus would sit for as long as he could handle with the book open upside down in front of him, turning the page whenever Ben asked, but it wasn't the same. He missed being able to do those things for himself. He missed _life_.  
  
From time to time, Ben checked on his other siblings. Usually, after Klaus and he had a particularly bad argument or when Klaus was too high to see him but somewhere safe enough that Ben felt it was okay to wander. He listened to Vanya play the violin. Watched as Diego snuck around like some poor man's Batman, desperately trying to help people and justify the torment they went through as children. Sometimes –when he was feeling strong enough– he even made it all the way to Allison to see her with Claire. Luther was too far. His missed them all – _worried_ for them all– but none more so than Klaus.  
  
Time moved slowly as he waited. He watched as Dave came back, gently checking on Klaus. Checking his temperature, offering water or medicine as needed until he seemed satisfied that his fever had lowered enough that he too could sleep. The record had long since stopped playing and Klaus was uncharacteristically quiet. Even in his sleep, he talked. Sometimes it was mindless chatter, most of the time it was pleas punctuated by whimpers and cries, but for now, he was silent. There was the occasional groan that caught his attention as his brother shifted in the makeshift bed, but for the most part, the day was quiet, peaceful even. It was nice.  
  
Ben had settled down in a nearby seat to read the book he had when he had passed. He had read it cover to cover more times than he could count. It wasn't even a particularly good book, but it was all that he had. Occasionally, he would glance up as Klaus uttered something incoherent or let out a violent sounding cough. It was in those moments that Ben was truly thankful for Dave. Winters were never easy and he always worried they wouldn't make it till spring. Sometimes he wondered what would happen to them if Klaus died. Would Klaus hang around to? Would _he_ cease to exist? Would they end up like those souls in the mausoleum, screaming for help with unheard voices? The thought _terrified_ him.  


He knew that in those brief moments when Klaus' heart stopped and the paramedic violently dragged him back that he stayed. He watched, breath held as they injected and shocked him, worried that this time it wouldn't work. It was usually then that his anger flared. When he could see just how close Klaus came to tossing it all away.  


The sound of Klaus muttering in his sleep pulled his attention back to the present. He looked at his brother, noting the telltale signs that he was experiencing a nightmare. The way his brows pinched together, the downturn of the corners of his lips.  


"No, no, _please. No, no, no._ " Klaus' voice was hoarse as he whispered and whimpered, beginning to cry. Ben softened at the sight, wishing he could shake him awake. While he sometimes felt like he hated Klaus, the love he felt for him more than outweighed it.  


His brother continued to plead in his sleep, his expression twisting in such fear and sorrow before he eventually jolted awake. Ben could see the tears rolling down his cheeks as Klaus groaned, arms crossing his chest while he frantically looked around the room with unfocused eyes.  


"You were having a nightmare," Ben stated, his tone so soft you would think he was trying to coax out a baby animal. It took a moment more for Klaus to focus, another groan escaping him.  


"No Shit. Where am I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has commented, left kudos, or even just read it. It honestly means so much when someone even just takes the time to read this little fic of mine. ♥


	7. Did it hurt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sixty errands and one existential crisis later I'm back to post the next chapter! This one is a longer one and one I'm still not totally sure about. I must have read this back to myself no less than 900 times. I'm so glad to hear people liked the Ben chapter though! I honestly went back and forth on whether or not I should keep it, but it was fun to get Ben's pov for a bit there. And I thought it was a little fitting that the sixth chapter belonged to him. 
> 
> There are mentions of substance abuse as well as one brief act of substance abuse in this chapter as well.

The air smelled of dust. Pressing himself into the corner, he ignored the way the rough cement scraped on his palms as he pushed harder into the wall behind him. It was their voices he heard first. So faint he could have mistaken them for the wind, but slowly they grew louder, _clearer_.

He could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, the beat so strong, so _erratic_ , it hurt. His breath quickened as he heard them now. They were so clear he couldn't believe he could have ever mistaken them for the wind. They whispered to him, to each other, a swell of voices growing louder.

" _Klaus_!"

The sound of his name made him jump.

" _Klaus_!"

     " **Klaus**!"

His gaze flicked around the darkness, searching more out of fear than the desire to see. A face bled out of the dark. A woman. Her hair tangled, her face so gaunt and pale he refused to believe she was ever alive. He blinked and she was gone.

Then another.

This one was a man and he was so _close_ , Klaus hit his head on the wall, trying to get away.

_"Help us!"_

_"Klaus!"_

_"Klaus!"_

Their voices and screams filled the air. So loud. _So impossibly loud_. He covered his ears, curling up as he saw their faces, their bodies. Some horribly mangled, each skeletal. Bits of fabric hung limply from their bodies. A sea screaming corpses. _There was so many of them._ They stared at him, screamed at him, faded in and out, _in and out_. Appearing when he least expected it. Only their voices were consistent. _A chorus of the dead._  


" _Dad! Dad, let me out!_ " His voice trembled with terror as he joined in their pleas, begging a father who wouldn't come. A father who didn't care. A father who wasn't there. " _Go away, go away. **Dad**!_"

Klaus woke with a jolt, gasping for air. He could feel tears already drying on his cheeks as he looked around, gaze frantic and unfocused. It took a moment for him to realize he wasn't in the mausoleum. No, he was in an unfamiliar living room. Though it was soft, Ben's voice startled him, informing him that it was a nightmare.

"No shit," he muttered in reply, his voice so hoarse he wondered if he had been screaming with them. "Where am I?"

"Dave's remember?"

Oh, right. Lifting a hand, he rubbed his eyes and groaned in pain. He felt like he had gotten hit by a truck but knew it was just a mix illness and a lack of drugs. Throwing the thin blanket aside, he was surprised to see he was wearing pants. Usually, when he woke up in some stranger’s apartment, his clothes were scattered around, like breadcrumbs leading him to the exit. He could see a T-shirt on the floor and wondered if he had stripped it off before or after he had crashed.

The night before was a little fuzzy, but he could remember music, and tea, and the way Dave smiled at him all nerves and amusement. It was the kind of smile you wanted to see again. Slowly, he stood, testing to see if he could stand without falling. One foot, then the other. Good, good. He breathed in, fighting the urge to cough as his eyes scanned for his jacket. He needed something to take the edge off. He checked the living room and then the hall, eventually finding his coat in the bathroom where he had left it.

"Ah."

" _Don't_."  


The single word spoke volumes and in the second it took Klaus to wave Ben off, a million past arguments played out. He dug around in his pockets, first pulling out the baggie of tar. Oh, it was tempting. So incredibly _tempting_ , but he knew he would be useless for hours and it would probably be considered rude to shoot up in the bathroom of someone who let you spend the night –Not that he hadn't done it before, but those were usually with people who enjoyed the same activities and Dave in his cute little scrubs didn't exactly seem to be the type. No, he would have been surprised if Dave drank. It was one of the things he liked about him.  


Klaus gave the small baggie a kiss, a silent promise that they would see each other later and instead pulled out a stray pill.

"Lucky me."  


It wasn't much. Hell, it would barely keep the edge off, but it was something and something was always better than nothing. Without a moment more of thought, he popped the pill, swallowing it dry and pulled out the little metal tin that housed his cigarettes and lighter. He needed a smoke. Picking up his coat and belongings, he walked out of the bathroom, peeking into the first bedroom on his left. In the bed, he could see Dave still passed out, shirtless and sprawled across the soft surface. It was a pleasant sight. In the next room, he saw a mess. The bed was unmade and there were some records strewn about. He smiled.

"I don't think you should light that in here."

"Oh, shut up." There was no heat to his words and after a second of contemplation, Klaus silently decided he was right. It would have been rude. He considered getting dressed and leaving but decided he wasn't ready to yet. Looking around, he let the still unlit cigarette dangle limply from his lips as he wandered the apartment before finally winding up in the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, taking a sip from a cup of tap water he helped himself to when he noticed the fire escape. "That'll work."

Putting on his coat, Klaus slipped out the window and out onto the fire escape, making sure to close it behind him to keep out the cold with the exception of a few inches at the bottom. It was getting dark now and the temperature had dipped low enough that he regretted not slipping on his shoes, but he figured he wouldn't be out long.

"It's nice up here," Ben stated and Klaus nodded in agreement as he took a long and much-needed drag. The sun was already setting, painting the sky in yellows and oranges. It was really quite beautiful.

He didn't know how long he had been out there. Long enough for his fingers and toes to grow numb, and for the sun to slip out of view for the night. He wished he could have seen the stars but with the exception of a handful here and there, the lights from the city erased them from existence. His cigarette was long gone and so was the one that followed. He considered grabbing one more when movement caught his eye.

Turning his head, he saw Dave walk by. He first passed the kitchen then came back, peeking into it. It was clear he was looking for something. Tilting his head, Klaus moved forward to open the window.

"What are you–" Cut off by an unholy scream. Klaus jumped back, his own heart leaping in his chest as he yelped in response.

" **What the fuck, Klaus?!** You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Me? What was that?" He gestured wildly as he spoke.

" _That?_ That was me getting the shit scared out of me. What are you doing out there? It's freezing and you're sick!"

"I needed a smoke." He waved the small metal box with a broad grin, nearly dropping it from his numb fingers.

Dave looked at him for a long moment, before he sighed and stepped closer. "Well, get in here before you freeze to death."

While Klaus was never one that someone would call graceful, his reentry was a sight to behold. He was all gangly limbs, numb from both the cold and lack of use and he didn't so much slip back into the apartment as he tumbled in. Thankfully without any major injuries, but that had more to do with Dave than his own prowess.

"You're freezing, " Dave whispered as he touched Klaus' hands without much thought to the action, cupping them in his own while Klaus shivered. Standing this close, Klaus could not help but look at Dave. _Really look at him_. He was taller than Klaus but not by too much. His hair was disheveled from sleep, his eyebrows pinched with concern and his eyes...were such a lovely shade of blue. It wasn't the kind of blue most would rave about. You wouldn't find sonnets dedicated to them but Klaus quickly decided they were his favorite shade. And, they were _kind._ It was a kindness he hadn't thought possible. Most of the eyes he looked into were hungry and lustful, but these… Well, there were no words.

Klaus hadn't been aware he was staring until Dave looked at him, his cheeks reddening under the weight of Klaus' gaze. It was enough to have him snapping from his thoughts as he offered an awkward smile.  


"Don't worry. They're always cold."  


Why he had said it, he didn't know. It wasn't a lie. All his life, he had suffered from cold hands, but the words were almost dismissive as if he had asked for them back when that was the last thing he wanted. _Touch._ That was what he wanted. Something he craved so desperately that he was willing to go with the wrong people just to get a taste of it.

"Oh. Right, sorry." Though the action screamed of reluctance, Dave let his hands go.

_Damn._

An awkward silence stretched between them now. It was finally Ben who spoke.

"Jesus. Just get a room already." The words were punctuated by an exasperated huff and Klaus smiled, biting the urge to say I wish.

"Thank you. Not just for the hands, but well for everything." The words sounded so final, more like a goodbye than appreciation.

"Oh, no problem. How are you feeling? Any better?"

What he wanted to say was that he felt like he had gotten trampled by a ride of hefty elephants, but instead, he smiled. "A lot better. I think sleep helped."

Dave nodded quietly before reaching out to touch his forehead with the back of his fingers, the action instinctual before he pulled back. "Sorry. Habit. Do you want some tea? You're still cold."

"Yeah, I would love some." He could tell Dave was nervous and in need of something to do with his hands by the way he was already turning, searching for cups and tea bags before he had even finished getting the question out.

"Any preference?"

"Surprise me." Klaus moved, hopping on the counter to sit and watch Dave move about the small kitchen. It reminded him a little of when he was young, sitting and watching his mother move around, but he wasn't checking his mom out while she did it. With Dave though, his eyes couldn't help but travel and linger. Only when Dave spoke, did he lift his gaze again, looking at his face. He really was beautiful. Both inside and out.

"Do you like milk or sugar in your tea? Or both?"

"Just sugar." A beat passed before Klaus spoke again. "Why are you so nice to me?" He hadn't realized he was going to ask until the question was already leaving his lips. As he watched Dave stop, his full attention turning to Klaus, he wished he could take it back.

"What?"

"I… Nothing. I don't know why I asked that. –What do you think about Chicago deep dish? I personally think it's an affront to pizza. It doesn't even taste the same, and don't get me started on that crust–"

"Why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

_Well, fuck._

Klaus shrugged. "I don't know." He could see the way Dave's lips pressed into a hard line, his gaze intense.

"You deserve to be treated well, Klaus. Everyone does."

"Not Hitler."

"Okay, _almost_ everyone. You're no Hitler though."

Klaus thought on that for a moment before realizing Hitler was an incredibly stupid example to pull out, but he nodded just the same, wanting nothing more than the subject to be dropped.

"And I'm not a fan. Of deep dish. Sicilian is also on thin ice."

"What about The Golden Girls? Like? Dislike?"

"Love."

Klaus' smile returned. "Good answer."

They talked like that while the tea steeped before moving to the living room to watch a movie. Nothing scary. Klaus wasn't a fan of horror –finding his own life terrifying enough. Still, despite the uneasiness he had felt at first, it soon felt natural. Like he and Dave had done this countless times before. It was nice and though Klaus knew it couldn't last, he wished it would. As the credits rolled, he could feel Dave's eyes on him.

"Did it hurt?"

"What? When I fell from heaven?" He offered a dopey grin as he looked to Dave who breathed out a laugh.

"No. Well, I am curious about that, but I was talking about your hands."

Klaus looked down at them now, the words Goodbye and Hello staring up at him.

"Yeah, but it was the good kind of pain." He had gotten them not long after Ben had died. When the pain of that loss was greater than anything he could have done to himself. It was a nice reprieve for a few hours. To have a pain he could control.

"Can I?" The question was so soft that Klaus couldn't help but smile.

"Sure." He watched as Dave picked up his hand, looking at the black ink before tracing the letters with his fingers, his touch so _gentle_ Klaus could scarcely feel it.

"Why hello and goodbye?"

Klaus shrugged. "Don't know. It just felt right." Really it had to do with his power and the fact that he was essentially a human Ouija board, but that was something he didn't want to talk about. If anything, he wanted to forget. He watched Dave's gaze drift before stopping on his arm and for a second he thought he was staring at the umbrella tattoo –his father's version of branding them –but quickly he realized it wasn't the ink Dave was staring at but the bruises. The remanents of past highs that littered his arms.

" _Klaus_." Never had his name sounded so soft but there was also _pain_ in Dave's voice. Instantly, Klaus pulled his arm back, hugging them both to himself as he inched away. He forced himself to look at Dave, stomach dropping as he saw it. There, in his eyes, was that fucking _pity_ again but there was more this time. It was something Klaus was so familiar with, he would recognize it anywhere. _Fear_. But Dave wasn't afraid _of_ him, he was afraid _for_ him.

"I should go." The statement was so sudden it had even caught Klaus off guard and before he knew it, he was standing, his head spinning from the quick movement.

"What? No. You don't have to go. I just…"

"Look, it's not your problem and this has been… It's been nice but I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry." Klaus shook his head, turning to pick up his things from the chair he had dropped them on earlier.

"Klaus." A beat passed as Klaus grabbed his shoes, slipping them on without his socks. He would worry about those later. "Klaus, look at me. _Please_." It was the please that did it. Pausing, he looked at Dave who was standing now, his expression desperate. "I can help. I can–"

Klaus breathed out a laugh, the sound morphing into a cough as his chest rattled in protest. It took a moment for him to get control again, out of breath by the time he stopped. "It's not your problem, Dave." He wanted to crack a joke, diffuse the situation like he so often did, but couldn't. For once, he had _nothing_. No distractions, no words, _nothing_. Only a deep sense of _shame_. It was an emotion he liked to say was long gone, buried years ago, but in reality, it was ever present. _  
_

_You are my greatest disappointment, Number 4_.  


His father's words echoed in his mind, so familiar it was like he was standing right there. He could picture the man perfectly, standing tall, his expression matching the disappointment he felt whenever he looked at Klaus. Sighing, Klaus shoved his feet into his shoes and threw on his shirt, pausing only when he reached for his pants. It was then he realized that he was still wearing the ones Dave had given him the evening before. They were much warmer than his own but hung loosely on his bony hips. He let out another defeated breath. "I'll bring your pants back."

"Klaus, _please_. Keep the pants. I don't care about the pants." He could feel Dave reach out to touch him. For a second, he thought he was going to grab him, dig his fingers in until fresh bruises joined the others, but he didn't. He simply touched his skin, giving Klaus a chance to pull away, only Klaus didn't. Instead, he looked at Dave, sorrow flashing in his eyes before he schooled his features into place. _He felt so tired._ Tired of running, tired of hiding, tired of struggling to survive. But he knew whatever this was wouldn't last. It never did. Even his own family had grown tired of him, brushing him to the side, moving on with their lives.

Truthfully, he knew it wasn't entirely their fault. It was _him._ He had created that chasm between them. They had tried to help, but with every failed rehab stint and every relapse, he had pushed them further away. Even Ben looked tired of him. Dave would be no different. Klaus wanted to say something. He wanted to jump back and keep Dave from seeing, but he couldn't. So, instead, he took in a breath and pulled his arm away so he could pick up his things.

"I'll bring them back." With that promise, he turned and left, ignoring the way his chest tightened when Dave called out his name.  



	8. No Room For Common Sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. That last chapter got way more angsty than I thought it would, but I promise things will get better! I am damn determined to give these boys a happy ending. 
> 
> Writer's block was kicking my butt for a second there but inspiration struck in a dream of all things. There are mentions of substance abuse in this chapter as well!

For just a little, Dave had thought only of the time they were sharing. Sitting beside Klaus on the couch, a stupid movie playing on the television, it had felt like they had done this before. He had been nervous at first, so aware of the man's body beside him, attuned to every breath, every shiver, every movement. Slowly that faded and was replaced with the comfort usually found between two people who spent a lot of time together. Like this was just another night and for a brief window, it felt like they had so much _time._ And then the movie ended. The credits rolled and it was over.

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten for even a second where and how they had met. Of course, he would be using. Klaus was an addict. He had known this when he was first rolled into the ER. Eyes open but vacant, a paramedic regulating his breathing. He had been there when they brought him back. Heard him take that first ragged breath, but somehow he had forgotten. In that short span of time where they sat, side by side, so close their skin touched. He had forgotten.

How had he not noticed it? The bruising once seen was so obvious. Obvious enough to know that it wasn't there when they had first seen each other. Had it been there last time? He had been wearing a coat so they could have been hidden. The first time he had been rolled into that ER, it had been pills and to know that Klaus had made that leap broke him. Poison regardless of what form it took was still poison, but somehow the thought of him shooting up hurt more. He couldn't explain why.

Maybe it was because he knew just how devastating heroin could be. How easily it took lives. How hard it was to quit. Maybe it was because the evidence was right there. Every bruise another pinprick. Every mark another time Klaus had been huddled away somewhere, a needle sticking out of his arm. Had he been alone all those times? Did he have an audience? He wasn't sure which angered him more. It wasn't anger at Klaus –though he knew it should have been– but anger at everyone else involved. The dealer who had supplied it. The people who may have been there when he injected. And, yes, even at Klaus for having done it to _himself_.

Despite what it had felt like moments before, they hadn't known each other for long. They were strangers –Dave knew this, but that didn't make it sting any less. In the short amount of time they had shared together, he had grown to care for Klaus. His mother had always said he had too big a heart. So big it didn't leave much room for common sense. He wanted to help. _Needed_ to help, but as he offered, it only seemed to make things worse.

He watched as Klaus threw his things on, sparing a quick glance at Dave. He could see pain in his eyes. Pain that ran so deep he was amazed it could belong to just one person. It flickered there, vanishing just as quickly as it arrived, making Dave wonder if he had imagined it. And then he was gone. As Dave watched Klaus disappear down the stairs and through the glass doors into the night, he wished he could go back. Maybe if he hadn't asked about the tattoos they could have had more time together. Maybe if he hadn't brought up the marks –but how could he not have? It wasn't something he could just ignore. The image of those marks stayed with him. Klaus' pale skin littered with small bruises, that look of shame he had when Dave offered help. He wasn't sure which hurt more.

A week passed and then another before they saw each other again. It had been a long two weeks, full of worry and soaked in regret. He was on his way home from another long shift. The kind that had started off dull and ended with him wondering if it was too late to change careers. He had to change his scrubs no less than three times, each getting covered in various body fluids and wanted nothing more than to curl up on his couch with some mac and cheese, and, maybe a good book. No, a movie. Reading required more energy than he was willing to give… So did cooking. Fuck it, he was ordering a pizza and vegging out for a while. Hopefully, Bruno's was still open.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to get on the ground."

" _What_? _Why_? What did I do?"

"Sir, get on the ground."

"Not until you tell me what you're –Hey! Get your hands off me!"

"Sir, I need you to stop resisting."

"I'm not –Get your hands off of me. I wasn't doing anything!"

Hearing not only the raised voices but one in particular. Dave looked up from his phone to see Klaus and two officers in front of a 24-hour laundromat.

"Sir. I'm not going to ask you again, get on the ground!"

Dave heard as Klaus began to say something when he pulled away from the officer once more before his words were suddenly cut off as Klaus crashed onto the floor. The change was so sudden and so violent he wasn't sure what happened at first. Rushing forward, he was stopped by the other officer –a female.

"Sir, I need you to step back," she stated as she placed a hand on his chest.

"Is he okay? What are you arresting him for?"

"I'm afraid I can't discuss that with you. I'm going to need you to step back." Sighing, Dave complied, moving back a step as he peered around her. The male officer had one hand grabbing Klaus' wrist as he ordered him to lay on his stomach, but whether Klaus didn't hear him or what, Dave didn't know. All he knew was that somewhere in the scuffle that followed, Klaus spotted him.

"Hey! Hey!"

At first, he thought that Klaus was calling to him but then noticed that the male's gaze had fallen on the female officer now who had turned to talk on her radio.

"Hey, can you give him that bag? Hey!"

It took a moment more for the female to notice she was being spoken to, but when she did, she looked at Klaus with a confused expression.

"What?"

"That bag! Give it to him. It's his." Klaus tried to gesture but with his hands in handcuffs, he could do no more than meagerly wiggle his elbow in the bags general direction before his face was pressed back into the cement with enough force that Dave winced.

"Do you have anything in your pockets that can harm me?"

"What? No. I don't think so, no."

Dave's attention jumped from Klaus to the female officer who had picked up the bag, checking its contents carefully.

"Give. Them. To. Him. – _Those_ aren't mine." The second statement was to the officer who was searching his pockets. Dave could see a couple plastic baggies, one with pills and the other with something else wrapped in a silver foil."

"Possession too. Looks like it's our lucky night, huh Patch?"

Dave assumed that was the female officer. At the mention of her name, she rolled her eyes and walked over with the bag.

"Do these belong to you?"

Inside were a pair of washed and folded sweat pants.

"Oh. Yeah, they are."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to take them into evidence. I'm sure you can get them back from him later on."

"Oh. Okay." Dave nodded, his attention turning back to Klaus on the ground. He could see his lip was bleeding and a bruise was already forming around the scrape on his face from the fall.

"It's your pants! Ethel was nice enough to wash them."

He had no idea who this Ethel was, but didn't care about the pants. What he cared about was the man currently bleeding on the floor.

"Diego, what did I tell you?" Patch's tone was more than annoyed as she looked past Dave.

"Yeah, yeah. Since when do you answer public disturbance calls?"

"Don't yeah, yeah me, Diego. I was in the area."

Dave turned to see a man with a large scar on the side of his head that nearly touched his face walk up, brushing past him to take a look at the spectacle playing out, a heavy sigh escaping him as he spotted Klaus on the ground. Klaus who had been distracted when the officer continued to empty his pockets, looked up, surprise painting his features before he gave a bloody grin.

"Diego." This seemed to only exasperate the man further.

" _Klaus_. Fitzpatrick, ease up on him."

The officer in question looked up, an empty Caprisun and Klaus' metal tin in his hands.

"You know him?"

" _Unfortunately_."

"Oh, Diego, I'm _hurt_." This came from Klaus who seemed oddly calm now. Like he had been through this situation plenty of times and maybe he had. Dave, furrowed his brows, looking to Diego as he wondered how they knew each other.

"He's one of my brothers. What did you do to his face?"

"Resisting," was all the officer offered in return, but he did seem to lessen the weight of his knee on Klaus' back. An action, Klaus seemed to appreciate. Dave looked from the officer to Klaus who's attention had fallen on some empty space in front of him. At first, Dave thought he had zoned out for a second but quickly realized his attention was too focused. As if he were looking at something in front of him. And then he scoffed, rolling his eyes, his expression dismissive. Whatever it was had either done or said something he didn't agree with.

"That's your brother? That explains a lot." It was Patch who spoke, the word brother finally registering with Dave now. He turned to look at this man. They didn't look related, but not all families did.

"Yeah. Can I ask what you're taking him in for?"

There was a pause, Patch seemingly annoyed before she sighed.

"No." This earned her a look to which she rolled her eyes once more.

"Awe, come on, Eudora."

"I told you not to call me that. If you want, you can follow us to the station., but we have to take him in and with these charges, he's not going to want a public defender."

Diego took in a breath and nodded before turning to look at Dave. Suddenly he felt like he had intruded on some private moment between the two. Diego stared at him, seeming to take him in before his expression grew defensive, brows knitting together.

"What are you looking at? I suggest you keep moving." Dave frowned. "Shows over."

"I wasn't…"

"I don't care what you were or weren't doing. All I care about is you walking away."

"Diego." This seemed to catch the man's attention. Patch gave him a look that seemed to diffuse the tension between his brows for just a second before it returned. She shook her head and turned to look at Dave. "You should go home."

Dave blinked but nodded though he made no move to leave. Instead, he looked at Klaus who was finally being helped off the ground, his hands cuffed behind his back. He looked tired and the side of his face that hit the cement looked even worse as he stood, blood dripping from the wound. Klaus looked at him. Dave could see a flicker of emotion in his eyes before he looked away, a smile coming to play on his lips as he spoke to Fitzpatrick.

"I like a little rough play, but this is a bit much even for me." It was a joke, his tone meant to be light, but there was a subtle heaviness to them. Dave had to wonder just how often this happened. He watched as Klaus was lowered into the back of the car before his gaze moved. Patch had seemed to drag Diego away to have what looked like a muttered argument. Eventually, Diego returned, regarding Dave with a look that could only be described as contempt.

"How do you know him? You're not one of his drug buddies, are you?"

"What? _No_ , no. Why would you think that?"

"How do you know him?"

"We met at work. –Look, I don't really need to explain myself to you." Dave was normally as nice as they came, friendly and eager to chat with people but under the weight of Diego's suspicious gaze, he felt _defensive_. Like this man had demanded him to explain his very existence.

Diego seemed to regard him for a moment, his own gaze drifting down to look at Dave's scrubs then up again. He offered nothing in response and Dave had to wonder just how they were related. Klaus –while evasive at best– was much kinder and so very talkative. Charming even, but Diego was all sharp edges. The kind of person you could cut yourself on if you veered too close.

An awkward silence seemed to follow, although Dave was fairly certain the awkwardness was one-sided. He didn't know what to do here. Should he ask to go to the station as well? He wasn't sure he could swing bail money. Was this the type of situation where someone could just be bailed out? Until now, he had very little experience with the police. Sure, they came into work whenever a patient called for it, but that was different. He hadn't known the person getting arrested personally.

Diego gave him one last look before turning and walking over to the female officer, leaving Dave to stand there. His evening had been so simple before this, but when he thought about it, so had been his life.

"Hey. Can I get a ride?" The question was directed to Diego and seemed to surprise the man almost as much as it surprised Dave.

"What?"

"To the police station. If you're going that way." He felt uncomfortable asking but knew he couldn't just walk away. His mother had been right. His heart was too big. There simply wasn't any room for common sense. A long pause followed, seeming to stretch out for an eternity before

"Fine, but I have some questions first."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know if Diego would make an appearance, but I love him so much and I feel like he's the type to check things out if a situation on the radio sounds like something Klaus might be involved in. I'm debating having the next chapter be in his pov but unsure if I should.
> 
> Also, a bit of a disclaimer. I, myself, have never dealt with addiction or substance abuse personally and while I do try and educate myself as best I can and want to make certain that such a serious subject matter is treated with the care and respect that it deserves I might make mistakes here and there. I am working on educating myself further, but it is never my intention to romanticize or make light of something so serious and I never wish to offend. If I get something wrong or anything, please don't be afraid to tell me. I really do love and appreciate other's insights.


	9. Diego

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! It's been a hot minute since I put up an update. I'm sorry. I didn't abandon this, I've just been in such an unbelievable funk lately so life has been kicking my ass BUT I FINALLY think I'm on the other side of it. I already have a chunk of the next chapter typed up so hopefully, that will be up within the next couple days.

Sliding back into the driver's seat of, Diego allowed himself a moment to lean his head back and close his eyes. He felt drained. Regardless of how often he told himself that he was done with Klaus' shit, he couldn't keep himself from checking out every call that could be about him. From a dead junkie who's description too closely resembled his brother to a simple public disturbance call about a man arguing with nothing, he always had to make sure. He tried to ignore them. He really did but despite how fucking _exhausting_ it was to be Klaus' brother, he loved the asshole. Not that he would ever admit to it. He just wished Klaus would get his shit together.

It wasn't always so draining to be related to Klaus. When they were children, they were close but that was before the drugs. It was before the late night disappearances, the days of worry, the sleepless nights and countless overdoses. He had tried to help at first. They all had. They talked to him, try to understand why he so willingly poisoned himself only for their concern to be brushed off with a joke or a laugh. He wasn't sure which one of them gave up first, but one by one they did. It wasn't that they didn't care. They did –at least he did, but it was a lot. Klaus was _exhausting._

Diego tensed at the sound of his passenger door opening. With a sigh, he opened his eyes to look at the man, eyes narrowed as he tried to gauge just why this guy was going out of his way to go to the police station. Surely he had better things to do with his time. Diego knew _he_ did.

"What did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't? It's Dave."

"Dave what?"

"Katz?"

Diego nodded, adjusting himself in his seat so he could better face Dave, studying him with care. He would have to get Beeman to check him out.

"You said you met Klaus at work, right? Which hospital is that?"

He watched as Dave nodded, shifting in his seat as his eyes narrowed a little.

"Yeah, during one of my shifts…Shouldn't we get going?"

"We have time. It'll take a while to get him booked. What was he in for and what are you two? Dating? Friends? Drug buddies?" He had met maybe one or two of the men Klaus had slept with on the rare occasion that their paths crossed over the years and both were vastly different from the man sitting beside him. For one, this one had a job –or at very least dressed like he did. And –unlike most people Klaus spent his time with– Dave didn't _look_ like he was using. Not that outside appearance was always indicative of such a thing. In fact, now that he thought about it, he decided he couldn't write off the possibility just yet. For all he knew, Dave here was a pill-popping nurse like that one he had seen on tv a long while back. What was her name? Nurse Betty or something?

"…We're friends," Dave stated after a lengthy pause. "And I can't tell you what he was there for. Besides, it was months ago. You said you were brothers?"

"–We're not talking about me. You didn't call them, did you?"

"Call who? The cops? No. I was on my way home when I saw them. Am I, like, under arrest or something?" The last bit was meant as a joke, but Diego ignored it. Instead, he stared long and hard at Dave, unsure of what to make of him. He didn't seem like the type Klaus would have been friends with –unless it was for something like patching him up after he made some dumbass decisions, but then again, did he really know Klaus well enough anymore to say what was or wasn't his type? Maybe once upon a time, he could, but things were different now. They had changed as people –though some would argue they were just about as mature now as they were back then.

Turning to look at the front again, Diego sighed and turned on the car.  It wouldn't take long for them to reach the station so he drove in silence allowing his mind to wander. He wondered just what was going to happen to Klaus now. It wasn't the first time he got his dumb ass arrested and he wondered if Reginald's lawyers would help him out again. With their father, it was a fifty-fifty shot, but chances are the man wouldn't give a damn. In fact, the only time he had bothered had been not long after Klaus left home and from what he heard, Klaus almost didn't take it. Diego was so lost in his own thoughts that he almost forgot that Dave was even there. That was until the man spoke up. Irritated, he glanced at him, brows raised.

"So, that officer –Patch, was it? Is she a friend of yours?"

_Really? Just who did this guy think he is?_ Diego bristled at the mention of Eudora and flexed his fingers a little before tightening his grip on the wheel.

"That would be none of your business." Eudora was…a sensitive subject for him and certainly not one he was about to discuss with someone he had only just met. She did look good though and it was a nice surprise seeing her there even if she did look about five seconds away from tazing him. The truth was, he missed her. Their relationship hadn't been the easiest. They had fought almost as much as they fucked, but beneath all that there was love. He cared about her even if he struggled to express it. He just wished he knew how good he had it before they broke up. Of course, he didn't have any illusions of them getting back together –she had made her feelings on that very clear, but it didn't mean he didn't miss her.

"Oh, so you can interrogate me but I can't ask one question?" At this, a hint of a smile flickered on Diego's face though he quickly smothered it. Still, it was there in his eyes, if you knew where to look. Dave reminded him a little of his brother in that moment only Dave wasn't nearly as talkative. Klaus never knew when to shut up. If he thought about it, he knew Klaus wasn't _always_ like that. When they were young –well before the double digits, Klaus was a fairly quiet kid. Sensitive too, but things changed.

"Exactly. Why do you want to go to the station anyway?" He glanced over at Dave as he spoke before returning his eyes to the road. A pause followed, substantial enough that Diego risked one more glance, catching the way Dave shrugged and began to pick at the hem of his shirt.

"I don't know. I just want to make sure he's alright." Diego raised his brows at that and gave a small nod though he didn't believe it. It wasn't that the words were a lie. He was good at reading people, but even Luther would have seen that this wasn't the whole truth and Luther wasn't what one would call bright.

"Right. Well, I'm sure he's fine." He wasn't so sure, but he didn't want to say that out loud. In fact, as he parked, he was tempted to let Dave out and head home. He wouldn't though. If he did, he would just worry. It seemed like that was all he ever did anymore when it came to Klaus. Ever since they were kids. Especially after Ben… "Alright, get out," he stated suddenly, unclipping his own seat belt and opening his door. The last thing he wanted or needed was to dwell on thoughts of Ben. No, that was a wound he would rather not prod. Especially tonight. Still, his heart couldn't help but ache at the brief reminder that they were one brother short. Two, if you counted Five, but he still stupidly held out hope that he was too stubborn to die. Hell, he too, he would have left and never gone back given the chance. Maybe wherever Five landed, he was better off than they were.  


Shaking away his thoughts, he got out of the car and slammed the door closed. He didn't spare a glance at Dave as he began walking to the entrance, knowing full well the man had fallen in step behind him. Maybe some jail time would do Klaus some good. Keep him off the streets, give him a chance to sober up… Well, at least very least get him off the streets. He hesitated, hand on the door before letting out a heavy sigh and turning to Dave.

"You go ahead. I need to make a call."

He lingered in the front as he watched Dave walk in, bidding his time before pulling out the flip phone he kept on hand despite almost never using it. It was late but he sighed and dialed, waiting as the phone rang and rang. Enough time passed that he almost hung up only for someone on the other end to pick up last second.

"Hey, Pogo. Yeah, everything's fine… Well, actually... Can you get mom?"


	10. You're not an idiot, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh. Between writer's block and life kicking my butt, it's been a while since I've updated this fic. I don't know if anyone is still interested but I have been working on it on and off the last few months and finally finished it so I plan to post the remaining chapters over the next ten(?) days. 
> 
> Also, please take this chapter with a grain of salt. I have yet to be arrested for my crimes so my knowledge of the judicial system starts and ends at the hell that is jury duty.

This was not the first time Klaus had been caught and hopefully released. Hell, it wasn't even the first time he had been brought in for drugs. He was no stranger to arrest procedures, but that did nothing to quell the fear bubbling up in his chest as he sat in the back of the cop car. Sure, he joked. He always joked, always talked, always covered up just how _fucking_ _terrified_ he was.

He joked his way through the whole booking process, flirting with cops here and there, smiled and laughed it off all while fighting to ignore the way his heart pounded in his chest. He talked right up until the cell door closed. The sound of the lock clicking in place echoing like the slam of a mausoleum door. He could hear them before he could see them. The voices, hushed and whispering. He took in a shaky breath, breathing in the stale scent of cement and dust, closed his eyes to keep from seeing their gaunt and hopeless faces.

"No, no, no."

The simple word repeated like a mantra as he moved, pressing himself against the wall and curling up as small as possible. Louder and louder, they grew. Whispers morphing into cries. Cries into screams. _Oh, how they pleaded_. They called his name, shouted it as he covered his ears and tried like hell to drown them out. Before long he pleaded along with them. _Let me out! Dad, please! Let me out!_

"Klaus…"

" _Go away._ "

"Klaus!"

" _No, no, no_. _**Please**_ , _no_."

The sound of the lock opening pulled his attention and as he lifted his gaze, he was surprised to see not his father but a woman in uniform. She looked at him and for a second he could see a flash of pity before her expression became stoic once more.

"Get up, Hargreeves. Your lawyer is here."

Klaus opened his mouth to say that he didn't have a lawyer but quickly shut it and stood, not wanting to spend another second in the cell. Without a word, he followed the woman to a room where a man in an expensive suit was waiting. _Fuck_. He knew what that meant. A part of him wanted to turn down the help, knowing exactly who sent this man, but even _he_ wasn't that stupid. He shot Ben a look and moved to take a seat, choosing not to shake the man's offered hand.

"Alright," the lawyer began as he adjusted his suit jacket before sitting again. "I was looking at your charges and it's nothing we can't handle. You didn't have much on you. However...”

Leaning back in his chair, Klaus' mind wandered for a moment. His face ached and as the suit spoke, he slowly lifted a hand to graze what was surely a gnarly looking bruise. It was only when the word rehab reached his ears that he looked back to his lawyer, brows raised.

“I'm sorry. What was that?”

“I was saying I can get you a deal.” The man looked down at his papers, flipping through them as he continued. “From what I see you had something similar in the past. Probation, at least thirty days in rehab plus additional meetings–“

“–I'd rather go to prison.”

“Klaus!”

Sighing, Klaus turned and looked at Ben. “Kidding. I was kidding.” He wasn't.

A beat passed before the man cleared his throat and fixed the papers he had been leafing through. “Look, I'm going to hope it's safe to assume you're not an idiot. You're not an idiot, right? Between the donations your father has made over the years and what you kids did for the city in the past, you have some advantages. Advantages that most people in your situation don't have. So, take what I'm offering you. Get clean, sort your shit out and stay out of trouble because the day will come that your father won't bail you out.”

Klaus breathed in only to let it out with a heavy sigh. Truthfully, he would rather go to prison, but just as he was about to tell his lawyer to shove it, Ben spoke up.

“Don't be an idiot.”

“Fine,” Klaus breathed out after a long second of silent contemplation. “but only if I can go to Lakeshore Hills.”

“ _Klaus_.”

“They have a cute nurse. She gives me extra jello.”

“Alright. I'll have you out of here in no time.”

With that, the man stood and left, leaving Klaus and Ben alone.

“Really? Lakeshore Hills?”

“What? That nurse is cute.” Klaus offered a smile though it didn't reach his eyes. He felt sick and wished he had a cigarette or something – _anything_ to take the edge off.

“Yeah, and that has _nothing_ to do with the pills he slides you on the side, right?”

Klaus simply shrugged in response not wanting to admit aloud that, yes, his choice in rehab had nothing to do with cute nurses showering him in extra jello and everything to do with the fact that he could get what he needed easily. All it cost was his dignity. A price he was more than willing to pay.

It was nearly morning when he was finally released, and to his surprise not only was Diego waiting for him but he wasn't alone. Sitting beside him, looking exhausted, was Dave.

“Klaus,” Diego stood as he spoke though Klaus' eyes stayed on Dave who was staring at him now. Something that Diego didn't miss. “Come on. You're staying with me tonight.”

“Yeah, alright. I'll meet you outside. I just need a second.” Klaus glanced at Diego who rolled his eyes.

“Hurry up.”

Klaus waited until Diego slipped out the front doors before turning to Dave, almost wishing he would be gone by the time he looked back. Despite how Klaus had left things, it really was nice to see Dave. Though he wished it was under better circumstances. It was then that he realized his face was probably one hell of a sight to see. A realization that had him wanting to reach up and touch the bruised and marred skin but the desire to keep attention away from it stopped him.

“Hey,” he whispered while he stepped up and held out the bag he had tried to return hours before. Dave looked at the bag then to him before he stood and reached out to touch Klaus' face. The embrace was feather-soft but still, Klaus flinched causing Dave to pull back.

“Does it hurt?”

“I'm fine,” Klaus assured with a small smile before holding out the bag again. This time Dave took it. “You know, you didn't need to stay.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” At that, Klaus' smile grew a little more though he still wished Dave hadn't wasted his evening waiting on him.

“I'm okay... Do you need a ride. I'm sure I can get Diego to drop you off at your place. It's on the way.” It wasn't.

“Yeah, I would love a ride.”

“Good 'cause I was going to make him take you home either way. Come on.”


	11. Thanks for the pants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortish chapter. The next will be longer, I promise. ♥

Waiting at the station, Dave had plenty of time to think about what he was doing. He didn't know why he was there, sitting beside Diego and waiting to see if Klaus would be released. It wasn't like he was dating the man –though he would have been lying if he said the thought wasn't appealing. A stupid idea, really, considering Klaus' history and the fact that he was currently in police custody. It was ridiculous. Dave knew this. He should have been in bed with a book, or eating pizza and catching up on something stupid on T.V. He shouldn't be sitting in a police station, waiting for a man he really didn't know all that well.

Even realizing all of this, Dave couldn't make himself get up and leave. He tried to reason with himself. Tried to tell himself he was just waiting for his pants or waiting to see if Klaus was okay. Waiting to see if he needed stitches though he was sure that would have been taken care of by now. Truth was, he did want to see if Klaus was okay, but it was more than that. He wanted to see him. Wanted to know he would be alright past this evening.

He and Diego sat in silence. It was clear in the car that Diego wasn't the most verbose of the Hargreeves, but it was like hanging out with a surly statue. He tried to strike up a conversation here and there but every attempt died on the vine until they sat in unbearable silence. Dave unlocked his phone, checking the time yet again only to notice his battery was dying. ' _Go home_ ,' he thought to himself. ' _Don't be weird and go the fuck home.'_

“Klaus.”

The sound of Diego finally speaking pulled him from his wandering thoughts and when Dave looked up, he saw Klaus standing there, hugging his belongings in his thin arms. His face was badly bruised but no longer bleeding, a small mercy. Still, the sight of those bruises and cuts pained him. Dave caught Klaus' gaze but stayed seated as Diego and Klaus spoke. It was only when Diego left and Klaus greeted him, offering up the bag, that Dave stood but made no move to take it. For some reason taking the bag felt final. Like they would part the moment it traded hands. So, instead, Dave reached out to touch Klaus' face. He tried to be gentle, barely grazing the bruised skin, but Klaus still flinched.

“Does it hurt?” _Of course, it fucking hurts_ , but Dave didn't know what else to say.

“I'm fine.”

The sight of Klaus' smile –though small– was enough to have the corners of Dave's lips raising ever so slightly even if he knew that it was a lie. Then Klaus spoke again and the smile he wore slipped away. Dave worried that it was weird that he stayed. He wasn't a stalker or anything. He just worried.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” It was as simple and as complicated as that.

“I'm okay... Do you need a ride? I'm sure I can get Diego to drop you off at your place. It's on the way.”

“Yeah, I would love a ride.”

“Good 'cause I was going to make him take you either way. Come on.”

“Ah, _come on_ ,” Diego grumbled as he saw Klaus walk out with Dave trailing behind him.

“Come on, Diego. It's on the way. I promise.” Klaus smiled, raising his hand like he was being sworn into court.

Dave watched in silence as the two stared at each other, Klaus looking hopeful and Diego annoyed. A minute passed and then another before Dave couldn't take it anymore.

“I can just call a–“

“No, no. I'll take you. Get in.” Diego stated, cutting him off before getting in his car without so much as another word.

Klaus turned to look at Dave with a bright grin on his face. “Told you. You want shotgun or...”

“The back is more than fine.” He wasn't sure if he could handle another moment sitting next to Klaus' brother.

“Cool.”

The ride to his apartment was pleasant enough. Klaus seemed as animated as ever, talking and joking like the evening's events hadn't happened. It amazed Dave how he could seem so carefree, but still, he couldn't shake off the feeling that Klaus wasn't. Not really. He laughed loudly but it never felt organic and his smile never did quite reach his eyes. Still, he was glad to see that he was okay and glad to know that Klaus had somewhere to spend the night. Part of him wanted to offer, but he quickly decided against it, figuring it would be weird. Besides, he wasn't sure Diego would be thrilled with the idea either. Honestly, it still amazed him that they were related yet so incredibly different.

“I'll walk you to your door,” Klaus said suddenly, pulling Dave from his thoughts as they stopped in front of his apartment building.

“Oh, no. You don't have to–“

“– _Nonsense_. I'm walking you to your door.”

Before Dave could even begin to protest further, Klaus was out of the car and opening his door, a smile playing on his lips. A smile that seemed to brighten up all his features.

“Thank you,” Dave whispered as he got out then leaned in to say another thanks to Diego who grumbled in reply. The two walked side by side and as they neared the first set of glass doors, Dave wished they had more time. “So... What happens from here?”

“What?”

“I mean, with the court and everything.” It was clear by the way Klaus' smile faltered that this wasn't something he wanted to talk about.

“Eh, nothing,” Klaus stated with a small halfhearted wave of his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Don't worry about me.”

A beat passed in silence before Dave spoke up again, his tone cautious. “So...Thanks for the pants.” _Thanks for the pants? Really?_

“Well, they are yours,” Klaus replied with a small laugh. A laugh that allowed both of them to relax a little.

“Oh.” Dave breathed out an embarrassed laugh of his own as he raised a hand to rub the nape of his neck. “Right, right. Well, thanks for remembering to give them back.”

“No problem.” A beat passed before the sound of a car horn made them both jump.

Dave turned to see Diego watching them and sighed. “I don't think he likes me very much,” he confessed without much thought.

“Diego doesn't like anyone. _Except_ for our mom.” Klaus smiled again though it seemed sad. “I should probably go though. Before he leaves me here.”

“Right. Well, good night. I'll see you around.” It was the last thing Dave wanted to say. What he wanted was to do was invite Klaus up. Help clean up his face and find out if he really was okay, but he didn't. Instead, he offered a small smile as Klaus nodded his head.

“Yeah. I'll see you.”

“Take care of yourself,” Dave called out, causing Klaus to stop and turn to look back at him.

“You too.”

With that, Klaus smiled and walked away. Dave stood there, hugging the bag to himself and watched as Klaus got into the car. It wasn't until the car drove out of sight that he finally went inside, exhaustion weighing down on him.


	12. It's just thirty days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk about y'all but I'm exhausted. Hope you guys are having an amazing weekend. ♥
> 
> Warning there are a few graphic descriptions of ghosts.

Getting back in the car, Klaus sighed as he slid in the front seat and leaned back with his eyes closed. He could feel Diego's eyes on him, but his brother was merciful enough not to say anything. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Diego broke it with a sigh.

“Seat belt,” was all he muttered before starting the car and driving. The ride to his place was short and though it was quiet enough to give Klaus time to think, the silence held a weight to it. It wasn't until they were back in Diego's room that Diego finally spoke up. “I talked to Pogo. He made some calls and there's a bed for you at Lakeshore Hills. I'll drop you off at two so it gives you time to get some sleep. You can use the bed.”

Klaus felt sick at the reminder and he wondered again why he didn't just take whatever time the judge would have given him. Logically, he knew thirty days was nothing but every rehab stint he was forced to wade through felt like an eternity, and this was sure to be no different. He wanted to run. He wanted to call Blue and get his hands on something that could make him forget what was coming but knew that was a hopeless wish. Diego would sooner tackle him to the ground then let him walk out even if it was for a little fresh air. So, he sat on the bed, feeling exhausted and so much older than he was.

“Any chance you could go in my place?” His tone was meant to be light, joking, but fell flat even to his ears.

“You hungry? I think I have some eggs or oatmeal.”

Klaus wrinkled his nose and gave a shake of his head before he flopped back on the bed. “ _Damn_ , this thing feels like a rock,” Klaus said as he propped himself up on his elbows to stare at his brother, eager for a change in subject. “You know having a soft bed doesn't make _you_ soft, right?”

“It's good for the back.”

“But bad for the soul.” Klaus smiled but it faded as his eyes landed on Ben. Ben who was watching the exchange with crossed arms and a look in his eyes that Klaus knew all too well. He wished Diego could see him too. Wished he could know that Ben was with them, but their brother was a sore subject and it wasn't like Diego would believe him anyway. They all knew it had been years since he could conjure someone or even so much as see a ghost, and he lied far too much for them to believe that Ben was somehow different from the others. That despite the drugs, Ben stuck around, only vanishing when he was angry or when Klaus was stupid and took too much.

“You should try and get some sleep.”

Diego's words pulled Klaus' attention back and he could tell by the look in Diego's eyes that his notice of Ben had not gone unnoticed. Diego didn't ask about it though. He never did.

“Yeah, probably.”  Klaus kicked off his shoes and flopped back onto the bed, adjusting himself but made no move to take off his coat. An old habit at this point. Klaus allowed his eyes to close but he did not sleep at first. No, instead, he listened to Diego move about the small room he lived in. He listened as Diego made himself some coffee and sat down to drink it. Klaus tried not to think about what would come that afternoon or what happened the evening before. No, his thoughts focused on Dave instead. On the sound of his voice, the concern in his eyes. His lips, the melodic sound of his laughter, how _tenderly_ he touched him. It made his heart _ache_.

Somewhere between thoughts of the night they watched that film together and the way Dave held his hands to warm them, Klaus fell asleep.

He was in a park and it was _beautiful_. The sun was hot on his skin and the breeze was warm. Everything smelled of flowers from the freshly awakened spring. He felt _happy_ though he didn't know why. It wasn't until he heard his name being called that he realized just why his heart felt so full yet so light.

Dave walked up to him, an ice cream cone in each hand and a smile on his face.

“Hey, babe,” he said, his smile growing as he held out a cone.

“Hey. You remembered the sprinkles!” He was delighted to see that the vanilla cone was absolutely covered in rainbow sprinkles. The best in his not so humble opinion and his absolute favorite.

“Of course. I had him put extra. Come on. We're going to miss it.”

“Miss what?”

Dave took his hand and tugged him away. While they walked the color of the sky shifted into bright reds and oranges as the sun began to set, revealing a sky full of stars like Klaus had never seen. _Millions_ of them twinkled above and for a moment, Klaus stared at them in awe of how incredibly beautiful they were. He was so enamored that he failed to notice the way the wind shifted, bringing a chill. Failed to hear the whispers it carried.

“Klaus.”

Hearing his name, he looked at Dave with a soft smile but it vanished as he saw the man's face. He was pale and so very gaunt. His eyes a cold dead gray, glossed over and vacant. Klaus gasped and let go of his hand, noting now how cold and skeletal it felt. Then he heard them.

“ _Klaus._ ”

“ _Help us._ ”

Dave's face grew more gaunt, his skin powdery as he stepped towards Klaus. His lips moved but the only sound to escape was a faint rattle. Klaus whimpered and moved back, desperate to put space between them. He only stopped when his back hit a wall. Behind him, he felt the familiar rough cement of the mausoleum.

“No.” Klaus shook his head. “No, no, no. _Please_.”

Klaus watched in horror as the setting began to bleed. Gone were the stars, the trees, the lush grass and the scent of flowers. He watched as the remaining walls bled into focus. **Trapped**. He was _trapped_.

“You are such a disappointment, Number Four.” The sound of his father's voice was enough to have his heart stopping. He turned to see the man standing in the open door, his expression as cold as the night air.

“Please, not again. _I'll be good,_ ” he begged as he took a step closer. “Please don't lock me in here again.”

“You have to face your fears. Conquer them before they conquer you. You need to be strong.”

“No!” Klaus screamed and ran to his father but he was too slow. The door slammed in his face, engulfing him and the room in darkness. He could hear them, the voices. They whispered to him, to each other, but he knew they would only get louder. They always did. Klaus turned, eyes wide as he searched for the faces, not wanting to see them but knowing that they would appear soon enough. The first was Dave's, his skin sloughing off the bone as he reached out to Klaus, begged him for help. The others followed soon after.

“ _Please, help us._ ”

“ **Klaus**!”

“ _Help us_!”

A sob fell from his lips as he backed up, sliding down the closest wall and curled up as small as his long limbs would allow. He begged for them to leave him alone. Begged for his father to come back. Cried and screamed along when their voices grew to be too much.

“Klaus!”

Klaus startled awake and shoved himself back, away from Diego, stopping only when he hit the wall. It took a second for him to realize he was no longer in the mausoleum, and was, instead, in Diego's room. He took in a shaky breath and looked around as he clutched the blanket beneath him, needing to keep himself grounded.

“Klaus are you...”

Blinking, Klaus looked back at his brother, noticed the concern in his eyes. “Nightmare,” was all he offered in response, realizing then that he had tears drying on his face. He wiped at them and winced then returned his hands to the blanket, bunching the fabric in his fists as if he could hold on tight enough to keep himself there.

“O-Okay... Well, it's time to get up. You can borrow something of mine if you want to take a shower.” Diego cleared his throat. “Here.” He held out a cup of coffee and raised a brow when Klaus didn't immediately take it.

“Thanks,” Klaus finally muttered and took the offered mug but made no move sip from it. Instead, he allowed himself to enjoy the warmth it provided, wishing it could help settle the nerves now bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. He and Diego sat in silence for a good long while after that, Diego sipping his coffee and Klaus holding onto his long after it cooled.

“So...” Diego finally began as he set his empty mug in the sink as if the space now between them made this easier. “We should probably get going soon.”

“Yeah...” Klaus wanted to run. He wanted to hide away and make up for lost time. He wanted to get high. “Any chance we can make a stop first?”

Diego gave him a look.

“It's not for that.”

“Then what is it for?”

“I have to make sure someone feeds my cat.”

“You're allergic to cats.”

“And you don't have one,” Ben chimed in though Diego couldn't hear.

“So? Doesn't mean I can't–“

“– _No stops_. You know this.”

It was a rule Diego had put in place after his first rehab stint. When Klaus had convinced him to stop at a house on the way and ended up in the ER instead.

“It's not like that.”

“Yes, it is. Now get dressed. I have things to do.”

“Yes, sir,” Klaus grumbled as he put his untouched mug down and reached for his shoes, trying to ignore the way Diego's clipped tone hurt.

“Klaus...”

Klaus looked up only for Diego to look away, any softness he showed vanishing just as quickly as it arrived.

“Hurry up.”

With every minute and mile that passed, Klaus felt like he was going to explode. He sat in the car, chewing on his nails and bouncing his leg as they neared Lakeshore Hills. It was only when they stopped, however, that he got angry. Klaus was not normally an angry person. Sure, it came here and there, but for the most part, he was pretty relaxed –well as relaxed as he could be– but sitting in that car, staring at the building with nothing in his system, he was _furious_.

“This is _bullshit_ ,” he grumbled as Diego got out and moved around the car to open his door. “I don't need this.”

“It's not up for debate, Klaus. It's just thirty days.”

“Easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to go.”

“Klaus, come on.”

“No.”

“ _Klaus_.”

Klaus glared up at Diego and shook his head like a defiant toddler.

“Get out of the car.”

“ _No_.”

“I'm not doing this again.”

“Me neither. Let's leave.”

“ _Are you kidding me right now_?”

“Nope.”

“Do you know how lucky you are to get this? Seriously, I don't know what Reginald did to get a judge to agree to this again – _without a court date might I add_ – but you're not fucking wasting it. Get your ass up and get in there.”

“Klaus.” It was Ben who spoke now, standing beside Diego. “Get out of the car.”

Klaus glared at Ben too but his attention was quickly pulled back to Diego as he felt him grab his arm. “Stop it. _Let. Me. go._ ”

“You're either going to walk in there on your own or I'm going to drag you,” Diego stated as he continued to pull him.

“ _Fuck you._ _**I'm not going**_.”

“You don't go and they're going to throw you back in jail.”

“So? It's better than being in there.”

Diego stopped and stared at Klaus in disbelief before grabbing his arm again. The two fought like that for a while but eventually, Klaus was standing in front of the reception desk glaring and bruised.

“Hey, Klaus. Sad to see you back,” the woman at the front desk greeted with a small smile. “Hopefully this will be the last time.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Klaus replied, not bothering to look at Diego who stayed standing beside him, ready to tackle him if he tried to make another run for it.

“I'll let Eileen know you're here.”

“Yeah, thanks.”


	13. Stupidly hopeful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter. I promise the next one is longer. If I can get time to sit and edit, I'll try and get that one up tonight. ♥

It had been two weeks since he saw Klaus and Dave couldn't shake thoughts of him from his mind. He wished they had more time to talk last time and wondered what happened. Was he in jail? Did he have a court date? It was stupid to worry so much for someone he had barely gotten to know, but Dave couldn't help it. He had looked for him here and there. Noting too much, of course. Whenever he was in the are, he peeked into any places he had spotted Klaus in the past, but every spot came up empty. It wasn't until he saw Diego in a supermarket that he saw his chance to find out what was happening. He just wished he could have asked someone a little friendlier.

“Hey,” Dave said as he walked up to Klaus' brother, trying his best to keep his tone light and casual. It did occur to him that asking after Klaus like this could come off as weird and even slightly stalkerish, but he also knew that this was the best chance he had for finding out how Klaus was doing. For all he knew, it could be months before he popped up again. Either on the street or in the ER. _God, he hoped it wasn't the ER._

Hearing him speak, Diego turned to look at him, his expression changing from curiosity to contempt fast enough that Dave had to wonder if a mood change like that could give someone whiplash. Yeah, this was probably a mistake. No, this was _definitely_ a mistake but even this realization didn't stop him from opening is mouth and asking.

“I was wondering how Klaus was doing.”

“He's fine.”

_Okay_... He did not miss this. “Oh, good. Um... Did he have a court date or...”

Diego stared at him now and for a second Dave thought maybe he would find out...and then he spoke. “That's really none of your business.”

_Oh_. “I know. I just...” Dave stopped, realizing he really needed to learn when to keep his mouth shut. Of course, not enough to actually keep it shut. “Never mind. When you see him, can you tell him to give me a call?” He paused, and though it over before reaching into his pockets and pulling out an old receipt so he could scribble his number on the back of it. “Actually...Just in case he lost it...” His expression was stupidly hopeful as he held out the strip of paper to Diego, but to his surprise, Diego seemed to soften just a fraction. Barely enough to make a dent in his surly attitude but enough to let him take the slip of paper and slip it into his pocket without so much as a glance at the number scrawled across its surface.  

“Yeah, I'll let him know.”

“Thank you!” Dave smiled now, feeling relieved. Even if Klaus didn't call – _which he really hoped he would_ – at least he knew he was okay.

Nearly another week passed before Klaus finally called. Dave was just sitting down to eat his lunch when his cell rang, the number unfamiliar and despite the sheer number of spam calls he had nervously answered over the days since he had given Diego his number, Dave remained hopeful.

“Hello?” There was silence on the other end, but if he listened carefully he could hear the faint sounds of conversation in the background. “Hello?” Again, more silence. It was when he was about to hang up that he heard Klaus' voice and he could feel his heart pick up its pace at the sound.

“Dave?”

“Hey! Yeah, it's me. Perfect timing.” It felt strange to talk to Klaus on a phone, but it was something and despite it being small, he could feel his stomach doing flips.

“Oh, good...” Shoving aside his lunch, Dave rested his elbow on the table so he could rest his chin on his hand. He sat silent as he heard Klaus took in a breath. The silence that fell –though brief– felt charged. Or maybe it was his nerves. Yeah, probably his nerves. _Were his hands sweating? Oh, wow. They were._ Feeling dumb, he wiped them on his scrubs as Klaus finally spoke again. “How are you?”

“Good, good.” Better now that they were talking –though he chose not to share that. “What about you? I wasn't sure Diego would give you my number or my message. He's kind of like the human equivalent of Oscar the Grouch.”

Klaus laughed and Dave swore the world got a little _brighter_. “Don't let him fool you. He's really a teddy bear. I'm good though.”

It was Dave's turn to breathe out a laugh. “ _Oh, yeah_. That's totally the vibe he gives off. Soft and cuddly. I'm glad you're good though.” Dave paused, trying to think of a way to ask Klaus what had happened or where he was. Maybe they could see each other in person. “I was wondering if... –and it's totally cool if you don't want to– but maybe we could hang out. I get off at seven tonight. We could get dinner or...” He trailed off, anxiety stopping him from continuing.

There was a pause on the other end. It was long enough that Dave began to want to crawl into a hole and die, but just as he was about to start digging, Klaus spoke. 

“I can't...”

And just like that, Dave could feel his dumb little heart crumble as his face warmed in embarrassment. Of course. It was too much. Maybe he misread – _Oh god, he totally misread the situation._ “Oh. Okay. I–”

“– _It's_ not that I don't want to!” Klaus stated quickly, cutting Dave off. “I do. I...” Another pause, but this one was a little more bearable.

“Look, it's cool. I shouldn't have–“

“–No. Really, I do want to. It's just...” Klaus sighed. “I can't go anywhere right now.”

“You don't have to–“

“–It's not an excuse. I'm in rehab. Can't leave the grounds. It's part of the rules.”

“Oh.” _Oh._ Though Dave was surprised, he was glad to hear it.

“Yeah. Plea agreement thing. Thirty days in here and some probation... Look I have to go. I have group soon, but I would like to talk to you again. Soon. If that's okay.”

“Yeah, that would be great. Just give me a call. Can you have visitors?” The question leaped from Dave's lips before he could even think of stopping it.

Again, there was a pause but when Klaus spoke up again, Dave could have sworn he could hear a smile in his voice. “Yeah, I can but I'll be out in a week.”

“I would still like to see you. I mean, if that's okay with you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I'd like that.”

Dave smiled now, relief washing over him once more. “Cool. Where–”

“–Lakeshore Hills Rehabilitation. I gotta go, but I'll talk to you soon.”

“I can't wait.” Dave waited until he heard the click before locking his phone again leaning back in his seat. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing Klaus again and at the fact that he was getting help. _Real_ help. He just hoped that Klaus would stick with it.


	14. The peach is killer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Sorry. Did not mean to go MIA. Chronic fatigue has been kicking my ass but I finally managed to read over and edit this chapter. 
> 
> There are depictions of drug use in this chapter. Hope you're all having a good night. ♥

Why Klaus had agreed to let Dave visit, he didn't know, but he wanted to see him. Dave had been on his mind for weeks now, drifting into his thoughts when he least expected it. Especially after Diego's last visit. It had been a surprise but a pleasant one. Especially when Diego handed him Dave's number and told him he had asked after him. Hanging up the phone, Klaus couldn't keep the smile from his face. He wished he could have spoken to him longer, but he had things he had to do. Group was starting soon and while the last thing he wanted to do was sit in a circle and listen to people talk about just what brought them there, he knew he needed to make some effort to get the fuck out. He just needed to make a stop at his room first.

Klaus ignored the way Ben looked at him as they walked. He had been giving him the silent treatment for weeks now, angry that he wasn't making an actual effort to get sober. He had tried for a day or so, but detox was a bitch and honestly something he could do without. Klaus slid into his room and went straight for the pills he had stashed in his mattress. He hated himself for it. For being weak, for getting on his knees for a few measly pills, but they were a lifeline. They kept him moving and, most importantly, they kept the ghosts away.

He almost expected Ben to say something as he pulled out the baggie. He expected him to argue when he crushed a couple into a fine white powder. To tell him he could do better as he separated it into thin lines but there was silence. Every argument already played out. He could recite it all by heart if he wanted. Klaus didn't look at his brother. Didn't focus on anything as he inhaled, head leaning back and eyes falling closed while it hit. He hated himself but at that moment, he felt _amazing_. For just a second, it all fell away. One moment of peace. That was all he wanted. Then the moment was over and he was up again and on his way to what he affectionately called the ring of sorrow.

Though it was only a few days before visitation finally arrived, it felt fucking felt like forever. Klaus leaned in closer to the mirror and used his finger to wipe at some of his eyeliner. He had traded cherry jello for the liner, wanting to look nice today.

“How do I look,” he asked Ben, forgetting for just a second that his brother was still mad as hell. “You know, you can't avoid talking to me forever. I mean, it's not like you have many options.” Though he tried to keep his tone light, he was worried that Ben really would stay silent forever. That this time he fucked up bad enough that his brother would want nothing to do with him. He just hoped that the fact that Ben still hung around meant something. “Come on, Ben. Please.”

“You look fine,” Ben sighed and though his tone was clipped, Klaus smiled as bright as the summer sun.

“Thank you.” Klaus breathed in and looked back at the mirror one last time before popping a pill and heading out. It was still another hour before Dave arrived and for those sixty minutes, Klaus was a nervous wreck. He questioned his wardrobe choice about fifty times and redid his liner at least three times all while regretting telling Dave he could visit. Was it weird? Was this a date? No, not a date. Hanging out. This was hanging out. He wished it were a date.

“Hey,” Dave said as he finally arrived. His smile was contagious and suddenly all the worries Klaus felt were shoved on the back burner.

“Hey.” He looked good. _How did he always look so damn good?_

“Sorry I'm late. I just got off my shift. Didn't even take time to change.”

“The nurse look is nice,” Klaus joked but he would have been lying if he said Dave didn't look hot in those scrubs. “Are those squirrels?”

“Yeah,” Dave said with a laugh as he looked down at the scrubs he wore. “My other ones got dirty.”

“I like them.”

“Thank you. So, how are you doing?”

“Good, good. I've been...good. What about you? How's work?” Klaus smiled as he spoke. He still felt nervous but sitting there with Dave also felt nice. Normal. It felt right.

“Work has been good. I mean, some kid threw all over me today, but other than that, it was a pretty good day. I was thinking... When you get out –if you don't have other plans– would you like to get some dinner with me? Nothing big or anything. Just some take out or whatever you're in the mood for.”

The offer surprised Klaus but still, he smiled, eager for a chance to spend more time with him. “I would _love_ to.”

“Cool it's a date. Or, uh, you know...whatever.”

“It's a date.” Klaus beamed as he spoke, already wishing it was his release date.

The rest of his time in Lakeshore Hills moved at a sluggish pace. Hours felt like days, days like weeks but eventually, his time was up and he could not have been happier. Leaving, he was all smiles as he tossed his thirty-day chip in the air and caught it. Already his thoughts were on getting back out there to get some pills from Blue and more importantly, seeing Dave again. Walking out, however, his smile dulled slightly when he saw Diego waiting for him. He was, of course, happy to see his brother but getting what he needed was impossible with him around.

“Hey.” Pushing off the wall, Diego seemed to study Klaus as he walked up to him, his gaze intense enough to have Klaus wondering if it was obvious that he wasn't clean. “I thought I'd give you a ride back.”

“I could have caught the bus,” Klaus stated though a ride did sound nice and he wasn't sure he had enough for bus fare. At least not enough to take him as far as he needed to go while still having enough left over for what he needed.

“Would you rather take the bus?”

“No.” It wasn't often that Diego was willing to give him a ride so Klaus knew better than to push. Instead, he smiled. “Any chance we can stop for waffles? I know a great dinner and the food in this place sucks.”

Diego took a moment to think this over before shrugging. “Yeah, sure. Come on. I'll buy.”

On the way there, Klaus borrowed Diego's phone to send two texts. One to Blue which he deleted right after and another to Dave asking if he was free that night.

“So, how was it?”

Klaus looked up from the phone to glance at his brother before dropping his gaze to the screen again. “Good. Thirty days sober,” he pulled out the chip from his pocket and held it out for Diego to see though he only stayed still for a fraction of a second, choosing instead to twirl it between his fingers. A desperate attempt to burn through some of the nervous energy he felt.

“Try and make it stick.” Though Diego's tone was flat, Klaus could pick out the bit of hope that clung to his words. Hope that had his stomach turning with guilt.

“Will do,” he said as he raised the phone a little as if it was lack of reception that kept Dave from answering and not the fact that he was probably busy with work.

“I'm serious, Klaus. Pogo says this was the last time. Next time you're on your own.”

“I got this. Thirty days remember?” He looked from the phone to Diego now and waved the coin before pocketing it again to look back at the screen in his hands.

“Yeah, you've said that before.” This Diego muttered quietly as he returned his eyes to the road. The reminder hurt, but not enough for Klaus to consider really getting sober. No, he had this under control.

Klaus hung onto the phone as they slid into the booth, jumping a little with excitement as he felt it vibrate in his hand. With little more than a hello to the waitress, he looked at the screen to see it was just Blue who had sent a thumbs-up emoji and a price. He had just enough to cover.  Though his anticipation grew a little at the sight, he was still a little disappointed as he deleted the text and put the phone down in favor of the menu.

Truthfully, Klaus had no appetite but a hot meal wasn't something he was dumb enough to pass up. Especially if someone else was buying. He was halfway through his waffles when Blue walked in, barely pausing long enough to make eye contact before heading to the bathroom.

“I gotta pee. Let me know if he texts,” Klaus said as he dropped his fork and slid over the phone. He was gone before Diego had much chance to reply.

“You should try the pie. The peach is killer, man,” Blue said as Klaus walked into the small bathroom with a smile on his face. He hated how despite the guilt he felt, he was also excited to see Blue again and even more excited for the pills he was about to get.

“I'll keep that in mind.”

“Please do. I might even grab a piece before I head home. Fucking winter man. Half my kids are sick and the other half are waiting for their turn. It's like that Agatha Christie novel on the island with the bear-shaped clock statue. And then there were none,” Blue said as he pulled out the small baggie and traded it for a wrinkled wad of cash.

“That's what you get for taking them in.”

“Can't help it. They're damn cute and you know how it is out there. They'll either starve or get killed on their own. I took in a new one. Swear to god, he reminds me of a panda I once knew. Kinda reminds me of you too but church mouse skittish. Jumps whenever someone so much as moves too fast around him.”

“...You knew a panda?”

“A story for another day. You take it easy, man. Those are strong.” With that, Blue walked out, leaving Klaus alone with Ben who looked more than pissed.

“Seriously, Klaus?”

“What?”

“You know what.”

Sighing, Klaus rolled his eyes and opened up the baggie to pull out a pill and pop it in his mouth, biting down on it and hiding the rest.

“Anything?” he asked Diego as he slid in the seat across from him.

“Nope.”

Klaus' shoulders slumped as he picked up his fork again and began to poke at the now soggy waffle. “You should try the pie. I hear the peach is killer,” he grumbled before putting his fork back down and grabbing the phone to check it's reception.

“I'm good.” Diego watched curiously as Klaus scooted closer to the window, raising the phone a little as he did so. “So, are you two dating?”

The question caught Klaus off guard. Normally Diego didn't show much interest in the people Klaus dated or slept with aside from the occasional argument over whether or not the person was any good. Maybe it was because of that, that Klaus felt a little defensive of Dave who was unlike anyone he ever spent time with.

“No. Just friends,” he replied with a soft involuntary sigh.

“He one of your drug buddies?”

At this, Klaus raised his brows, surprised and a little offended. “No. He's not like that. I would be surprised if he even drinks.”

Diego nodded and took a sip of his water. “He said you met at the hospital. What happened?”

“Don't remember.” Klaus paused, thinking it over. “I think it was the time I popped my shoulder out of place. Is this why you agreed to get waffles? So you could ask about Dave?”

“How did you pop your shoulder out of place?”

“Fell down some stairs. You know how it is. You didn't answer my question.”

Sighing, Diego put his fork down and stared at Klaus. “Not entirely. I also have to give you some papers.” Seeing Klaus deflate, he also added, “And I thought it would be nice to make sure you got something to eat. How did you fall down the stairs?”

“Running in heels.” Klaus smiled a little as he spoke, hoping that the roll of Diego's eyes meant the subject would be dropped. Then, as if by an act of God herself, the phone vibrated in his hand causing Klaus to straighten up so he could give it his full attention.

'Hey, f _ree tonight. Getting off at 8. Meet at my place?'_

Reading the text, Klaus had to put the phone down and take a breath to calm himself though he could feel himself beaming.

“I guess that's him?”

Klaus nodded and picked up the phone again to text back. ' _Sounds good. See you then._ ' He paused then added 'B _y the way. This is Diego's phone._ ' Damn, he needed a phone. Beaming, Klaus put the phone down only to quickly pick it up again to see the smiley face emoji Dave sent in response.

“Can I get ready at your place? …And can I get a ride?”

“I should have let you take the bus.”


	15. Something more

Dave liked Klaus. _Really_ liked him. He had from the moment he first laid eyes on him. It was, like, an instinctual pull, drawing them toward one another. Or at the very least, drawing Dave towards Klaus. It was something he didn't understand and couldn't ignore. Sure, he knew starting anything with Klaus was a bad idea. After all, Klaus was an addict. Something that was, for many, a big red flag, but there was so much more to Klaus than his addiction. During the moment when they had a chance to speak, he had discovered that Klaus was funny and kind. He was compassionate and beautiful inside and out. What he wasn't, was someone who was on time.

Sitting on his couch, Dave looked at his phone again, hoping for a call or text but only saw that it was now an hour and a half after they were supposed to meet up. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe something happened to him. Maybe he already relapsed and was high off his ass somewhere... Worry hummed in Dave as he looked at his phone again then put it down. He considered calling Diego's phone but quickly decided against it. If he was being stood up, he would so with dignity. Well, as much dignity a man could have after he picked up his phone to check it for might have very well been the hundredth time that evening. He put it screen side down and stood.

Maybe he should just order in and get back in his pajamas. He picked up his phone, coat, and keys then headed downstairs. Just a look. He was just going to take a look and see. If there was no Klaus he would grab some ice cream from a store and make a night of it. – _Or_ maybe he should give him more time. Two hours. Two hours was all he was willing to wait. Two hours then ice cream.  

Opening the last set of doors to leave his apartment building, he hoped to see Klaus standing there. Hell, he would settle for Diego with a surly warning but there was nothing but Mrs. Whittleman who lived on the floor above him and had an unnatural love of making lasagna. Something he only knew because she gave him at least two a month because he reminded her of her grandson Johnny who was too busy to visit.

“Hey, Mrs. Whittleman. You going up?” He held open the door as he asked, and smiled a little when she tried to pick up her pace.

“I am. Thank you, dear. I like your shirt. Are you off to paint the town red?” She smiled to him and walked through the open door.

“More like a nice shade of blue.”

“Oh. Well, that's a shame. A nice boy like you should be going out and having a good time. If you're interested, I'm making lasagna.” She lifted the bag and gave it a shake with a bright grin. “I bought more noodles.”

“Thank you, but I think I'm going to go pasta free tonight,” Dave said with a smile in return though he couldn't help but wonder if that was what his future looked like. Sitting in his apartment on a Friday night, fat and alone while eating yet another plate of Mrs. Whitteman's lasagna. Not that it wasn't a damn good lasagna but it was still a pretty bleak future.

“Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“I will.  Thank you and you have a good night. Be careful,” Dave replied with a smile though he couldn't quite shake off the thought. Logically, he knew being stood up didn't mean he would be alone forever. There were plenty of guys out there, but Dave was about as smooth as sandpaper and had a work schedule that was erratic enough that any social life he could think of starting was D.O.A.

Dave sighed and watched as the old woman entered the building and disappeared in the elevator before he turned to look back at the street. It wouldn't be the first time he was stood up and at least he was home this time. Unlike the last time. He had sat in that restaurant for nearly two hours before he gave up. Both long enough to make him wary of going on another date and long enough that he never set foot in that place again. It was a damn shame too because they had _amazing_ Thai food. It was a loss he felt deeply.

Dave was just about to venture out when a car pulled up and Klaus stumbled out looking flushed.

“Dave! I am so sorry I'm so late.” Klaus sounded breathless as if he had been running and not riding shotgun in a car. “I would have been here sooner but Diego's car broke down and Mr. _I-can-fix-it-myself_ refused to call for help and I got stuck holding the flashlight while he poked around under the hood. I know I'm, like, an hour...” He paused and seemed to be listening to something before continuing. “...More than an hour late. I'm sorry.”

Dave stared at Klaus for a moment then looked past him to Diego who watched them from the car before turning his attention back to Klaus, spotting a smudge of something on his cheek. “It's fine,” he said finally before pulling a clean tissue from his pocket to gently wipe away the smudge, only realizing after that maybe that was a weird thing to do. “Sorry. You had a little something.”

Klaus' cheeks seemed to redden as he reached to touch the spot Dave had wiped with an embarrassed smile. “No, it's okay. It's like having something in your teeth. It's better if you know. Is it gone?”

“Yeah. I got it all.”

“Thank you...”

Silence fell between them, stretching out unbearably long before Dave opened his mouth to break it just as Klaus did too.

“You go first,” Dave mumbled and gestured to Klaus.

“I was going to ask if you still wanted to grab some dinner. It's totally cool if you don't. I mean, I get it if you don't but if you do, that's cool too...” Klaus blinked, his words trailing off. He seemed nervous which was something Dave hadn't seen before and in all honesty; it was damn cute.

“I would love to. Is... _he_ coming?” He gestured to Diego who was still watching them from the car.

Klaus' eyes widened as he turned to see his brother staring at them. “ _No, he is not,_ ” he stated, all nervousness melting away as he began to gesture wildly like an overly eager air-traffic controller after a few too many cups of coffee. “Thank you for the ride but you can go now.”

Dave watched as Klaus glanced back at him then to Diego again who had the window rolled down despite the cold. It was only when Klaus walked back to the car, the two exchanging hushed words before Diego mercifully left.

“Sorry about that. He just wanted to make sure you still wanted me. I mean, to go get dinner with me.”

Dave smiled. “Well, no worries. I still want you _and_ to get dinner with you.”

At that, Klaus beamed. “Great! Because I know this amazing place. I thought maybe we could check it out. If you want. It's a Mexican place. A little hole in the wall. Great food, real cheap.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Great. Come on.”

“So... How was it? That's not too personal, right? I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.”

“It's okay. It's not like it was traumatic or anything,” Klaus joked as the two of them walked side by side to the bus stop. “It was okay. Not my first rodeo.”

“Really? How many...rodeos have you gone to?”

Klaus took in a breath and blew it out as he thought. “Don't know. Six? Ten? Somewhere around there.”

“Wow...” Dave paused, taking a moment to let that sink in.

“Yeah, well, practice makes perfect, right?”

Dave could tell he was trying to keep things light but his shoulders slumped as shrugged.

“Right...” Silence fell again as they walked. Dave glanced at Klaus wishing he knew the right thing to say or do. He was never the smoothest guy. Especially when he liked someone and the last thing he wanted to do was upset Klaus or fuck up whatever it was that they had begun to have. He breathed in and looked up, wishing spring would come a little bit faster. He missed flowers and warmth. He missed sunlight. Lately it felt like it was always dark. “What's your favorite season?”

Klaus looked at him, brows raised before he smiled. “Summer by far. I like sunny weather.”

“Me too. Have you ever been to the beach?”

“Nope. Well, that's a lie. I did once as a kid, but it was only for a little and we were pretty busy. I didn't get a chance to enjoy it. I've always wanted to though. I've always wanted to dig my feet in the sand and see what it's like being in water that's not so still.”

“We should go some time.” Dave paused, face reddening. “I mean...”

“No. That would be great. I would really love to.” The way Klaus smiled had Dave's heart pounding and he had to look away.

“Perfect. When it gets warm again, I'll take you. I used to go every summer. We would go down to the beach, rent a house for a long weekend. I would come back all burned but it was worth it. There's just something about the ocean. It's...amazing. It really puts in perspective just how big the world is.”

“I bet you looked cute all lobster red.. Have you ever built a sandcastle? I think I would be _really_ good at building sandcastles.” Klaus smiled bright as summer sunshine and held up his hands as if the sight of them alone would back him up on his claim.

“ _Psh_. I'm a master at building sandcastles. Stick with me and I'll teach you everything I know.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The two talked and joked the whole way to the restaurant and through dinner. It amazed Dave how quickly it all felt natural again. Before he knew it, they were back at his apartment, sitting on the couch with tea. Dave wished the night would go on forever. That Klaus could stay there with him, drinking tea and dancing along to music, but eventually, the record stopped and their cups ran dry.

“I had fun,” Klaus said as Dave walked him to the door.

“We should do it again sometime.” What he really wanted was to ask was for him to stay the night, but he didn't want Klaus thinking that what he wanted was just physical. He wanted something _real_. Something more.

“I was thinking the same thing.”

“How about tomorrow? I have the day off.”

Klaus smiled. “You sure you want to see me again so soon?”

“Klaus, if I could I would ask you to stay over.”

“Why didn't you?”

“Because I didn't want you thinking the only reason I asked you out was for sex.”

At that, Klaus smiled. “You know there's a lot more we could do aside from sex. Like, watch a movie...” Klaus' smile only seemed to grow as he took a small step to close the space between them. “...Or make out.”

Standing there, so close he could feel the heat radiating off Klaus, Dave swore his heart was going to explode. “Yeah, we could do that. Or both.” His voice was hushed as he spoke, his gaze falling from Klaus' kohl-rimmed eyes to his lips and back again.

“Both sounds good to me.”

A beat of silence passed before Dave leaned in and kissed Klaus. His lips were soft and he swore when they met, he could taste a future – _their_ future. They stayed there, lingering by his apartment door, kissing one another for a good long while. It was only when they both were in need of air that they pulled apart, breathless and smiling.

“Come on,” Klaus said as he took Dave's hand and tugged him back to the couch. “We can watch a movie.” The two sat down but the movie barely began before they kissed again, this time with more passion than before and while Dave didn't want to rush things with Klaus, he would have been lying if he said he didn't enjoy it.


	16. Everything Is Perfect

Waking up the next morning, it took Klaus almost a minute to remember where he was. The first thing he noticed was that it was morning. The sun shined through the parted curtains, causing him to close his eyes again. Then he noticed the TV. It was still on but quietly playing some infomercial. His mind did not linger on that for long, however, because quickly he realized he wasn't alone on the couch. He felt it before he saw it, but when he looked down, he noticed the arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close. Then he felt the breath hot on his neck. _Dave_.

Klaus stayed still, listening to the soft and steady rhythm of Dave's breathing. The night before was a bit of a blur but slowly it was coming back to him. He remembered dinner with Dave, dancing to records as they chatted back at his apartment. He recalled bits of some movie, but more importantly the feeling of Dave's lips on his. The soft way he touched his face and the feeling of Dave's fingers running through his hair. Every touch gentle. Every touch welcome. He remembered the first couple of movies passing quickly and then enjoying the third as they laid on the couch.

He remembered falling asleep with Dave behind him sometime during the last film of the night. Klaus smiled a little to himself at not only the memories of the night before but the way he felt now in Dave's arms. Warm, safe, content. Happy. He felt _happy_. It was such an unusual feeling but something he wished would last forever. Klaus stayed like that until he felt Dave begin to stir him, his breath deepening as he slowly woke up. Klaus tried not to move, hoping that if he stayed still enough they could stay like that, but before long he turned over to look at Dave who smiled.

“Mornin',” Dave whispered, his voice rough from sleep. _Fuck, he even looked good first thing in the morning._

“Good morning.” If Klaus had any say in how he wanted the rest of his life to go, this was it. It was a stupid thought, but he liked this and he liked Dave.

“Think we could stay like this for a little while longer,” Dave asked sleepily as he tried and failed to stifle a yawn.

Klaus smiled. “I think that could be arranged.”

The two stayed there, laying with one another for another half an hour before Dave reluctantly go up to pee. Klaus laid on the couch, propped up on an elbow as he watched Dave pad to the bathroom. Only when the door closed did he get up, taking a quick moment to stretch before he reached for his coat and fished out the pills he had hidden in one of its many pockets.

“You can't start one morning with something normal?”

Klaus looked at Ben as he shook out a few pills and downed them. “Shh.” He barely pocketed the remaining pills and made it back to the couch before the door opened again and Dave stepped out, stretching his arms above his head.

“You want some breakfast? I make a mean frittata.”

“Who could say no to that?”

“Great,” Dave beamed and walked towards the kitchen, pausing as he reached the doorway. “Would you like some coffee too?”

“God, yes... Actually, do you need any help?”

Dave took a moment to pretend to think before he shrugged with a smile that bordered on mischevious. “I could always use a sous-chef.”

“Really? Well, you're in luck. I make an excellent sous-chef.”

The rest of their day was spent in the same fashion as the evening before. They talked and ate. They danced and watched stupid things on TV. It was, for Klaus, the closest thing he ever got to peaceful and he wished with everything in him that it could stay like that forever. Too soon the day ended and Klaus found himself saying goodbye again. He wished he could stay there, but knew if he didn't get moving, he would miss the last meeting of the day and every meeting needed to be accounted for.

“I had fun,” he whispered, hoping Dave knew how much the day meant to him but also a little scared that he did.  That Dave would know how much he enjoyed this time with him because nothing good ever lasted for Klaus and the last two days were far beyond good. It was perfection and he hoped that they could do it again.

“I'm glad. I'd like to see you again. Soon.”

“I would like that.” Klaus smiled up to Dave before leaning in to kiss him. The embrace soft and, like the day, over far too soon.

“I'll see you soon then.”

“Yeah. See you soon.”

Walking down the streets, Klaus didn't feel the cold like he usually did. No, all his focus was on thoughts of the evening before and the day he spent with Dave. Was this what love felt like? Did it feel like a gentle touch? Like dancing barefoot to a softly playing record long after the last song faded away? Did it feel like wanting a moment to stretch out for an eternity? Probably not, but whatever it was that Klaus felt when he was with Dave, it was new. With Dave, he didn't feel like he was riding out sixty seconds at a time. No, with him, time moved far too quickly and he found himself yearning and wishing for it to slow down.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Ten dates. They had been on ten dates before Dave offered to cook dinner for Klaus. He had gotten out of work early. Spent hours cleaning and getting everything perfect. Spent hours cooking. He had found the recipe online a week before and tested it out at least four times to make sure he had it perfect before he asked Klaus if he wanted to come over for dinner. Things were going well between them. Really well and he wanted to keep that going.

Lighting a candle, he looked around the apartment one last time, wanting to make certain that everything was perfect. He felt nervous. Not because of the meal he had spent so long on, but what could potentially follow after. The two of them were taking it slow, getting to know one another before they went any further than making out on the couch or in bed. Dave didn't want Klaus to think that all they were was physical. He wanted him to know he wanted things like a shared mailbox and picking out small things like cereal or laundry detergent. He wanted long term.

Before Dave could second guess himself, he heard the buzzer go off, letting him know that Klaus was there. Smiling like an idiot, he couldn't swallow down the excitement he felt in that moment. He was nervous, of course, but seeing Klaus had quickly become the highlight of his days. Even during days where they only saw each other for a short amount of time.

“Come on up,” he said into the intercom before pressing the button that unlocked the glass doors in the lobby. He wiped his hands on his button-down and did one last check before Klaus knocked on his door. “Coming!” Dave gave a throw pillow one more fluff then ran to the door, his smile growing into a full-blown beam as he unlocked it and saw Klaus standing there. “ _Hey_ , you look great.”

“Oh, why thank you,” Klaus replied with a bright grin of his own as he took a second to pose before walking in. “You're looking pretty dapper yourself. Is that shirt new?”

“Oh,” Dave laughed as he looked down at his powder blue button-down. “Yeah, I got it yesterday.”

“Well, I love it.” Dave closed the door behind Klaus and watched as the male walked in, stopping when he spotted the set table with its candles that lit the room in a soft glow. Suddenly Dave worried that it was too much. Was this weird? Until now, they usually ate out or he would make something simple and small but this was different. This was patience and effort. This was a few rose petals short of embarrassingly cheesy.

“ _Wow_...” Klaus' voice was barely over a whisper as he took it all in and Dave could feel his hands starting to sweat a little.

“Is it too much? I knew it was too much. I–“

“–No. It's perfect. I love it.” Klaus turned and smiled so brightly, Dave swore his heart stopped though he quickly breathed out a sigh of relief.

“ _Oh, thank god._ Are you sure? I could always blow out the candles.”

“You leave those candles alone. I love them. I love...” Klaus stopped, his words trailing off before he spoke again. “Something smells amazing.”

“It's rosemary chicken. I hope that's okay.”

“Dave,” Klaus stepped up and took Dave's hand, his smile soft now. “Relax. It's perfect. _Everything_ is perfect.” Before Dave could answer, Klaus pulled him in for a kiss and just like that, all his worries melted away.

The night went better than expected. They ate and talked about everything from their day to Klaus' very passionate thoughts on the glory that was _The Golden Girls_. They spent time cuddling before eventually moving to the room. There were few moments in life where Dave felt like he was in exactly the right place doing exactly what he was meant to do, but laying in that bed with Klaus everything felt like it was meant to be. He just wished that feeling would last forever and for the most part, it did.

The months passed quickly. Far quicker than Dave thought possible. Winter thawed into spring which then bloomed into a bright and joyous summer. Dave had kept his promise to Klaus. They had gone to the beach where they did everything Klaus had wanted to do. They build sandcastles and took turns burying each other in the sand. They swam in the ocean and ate sandwiches that somehow got sand in them despite the precautions he tried to take. They even collected seashells and little stones that glittered when wet but looked perfectly ordinary once dried.  It was perfection and Klaus had been doing so well. He continued going to his meetings so when Klaus showed up on a gurney in the middle of Dave's shift, he didn't see it coming.


	17. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are depictions of drug use and overdose in this chapter. 
> 
> Also, I'm fairly certain I've said this before. This is in no way trying to romanticize, make light of, or glorify substance abuse which is a very serious thing and should be treated as such. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I'm sorry.

Klaus never meant to lie to Dave. In fact, Dave was the last person he ever wanted to lie to. He just didn't know how to tell him. There were moments where he wondered if Dave suspected. Times where he took a shade too much or pulled away when he couldn't get what he needed but Dave never said anything. Other than that, those months were the happiest of his life. Never before did he know what it was to have someone care for and treat him with such kindness. There were moments where Klaus even entertained the idea of telling Dave that he loved him. That he was _in love_ with him.

See, Dave made the world brighter. He made getting up in the morning worth it, but even Dave couldn't fix everything. Klaus still had nightmares. He still needed the drugs. He wasn't proud of it. Especially with the way Dave looked at him when he said he was going to a meeting or came back from one. He still went most of the time, but never sober and always either before or after meeting up with Blue. So it wasn't a total lie, but it still was a shitty thing to do.

The guilt gnawed away at him. He felt it when Dave smiled at him and kissed him goodbye. He felt it when he would ask how his meeting went or how he was doing. Over the months Klaus was both the happiest and most miserable he had ever been. So, he medicated. A pill for the ghosts and a pill for the guilt. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes he found the right balance to keep him exactly where he wanted to be, but then that morning Dave told him how proud of him he was. How hard he was working to stay clean and he could see it in Dave's eyes. He could _see_ how proud he was of him.

Klaus didn't mean to take as much as he did. He took a few and then a few more. He met up with Blue and despite Ben's protests, he took even more. Really, it was no surprise when Ben began to flicker in and out like a faulty bulb. A sign that he was in trouble. Klaus leaned against a building's brick exterior as spots began to cloud his vision. He could hear Ben, but his voice was far away. Thousands of miles underwater. Klaus opened his mouth to speak, but the words died on his tongue. He had just enough time to think ' _oh, fuck_ ' before it all went black.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Dave had been halfway through his shift and debating whether or not if he should ask Klaus if he wanted to meet up for lunch when it happened. Unidentified male, late twenties, found overdosing on the street. What he didn't expect to find was his boyfriend. At that moment, it was like all the air escaped from the room. Dave stopped and stared as Klaus was rolled by, nurses and doctors already crowding his pale body.

_He felt sick._

He felt _terrified_.

Dave watched from afar as they worked, unable to make himself step any closer. He didn't want to see him like that. Not again.

_He looked dead already._

His own heart didn't seem to beep until Klaus' did. Slowly Dave seemed to thaw, allowing him to inch closer. Never in his life had he been so _scared_. but as time passed and he watched Klaus lay there, steadily breathing in and out, there was also anger mixed with his relief.  
Dave took his break early and sat beside Klaus, watching and waiting for him to wake up. He wondered if it was a one-off thing. Was it a slip-up? Had he been using this whole time? Suddenly every interaction they had replayed in his mind. Every stumbled word. Every small argument. Every night Klaus said he wasn't feeling well. Was he an idiot? Did he just not see it?

Dave sat there, lost in his thoughts for what felt like hours before Klaus finally began to stir. He watched as Klaus shifted, eyes pinching shut before opening slowly. He fought the urge to reach out and touch his hand when he heard Klaus groan in pain. Watched quietly as confusion gave way to realization before he finally spoke up, his clipped tone foreign even to him.

“How long?”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Waking up, Klaus felt like he had gotten hit by a truck and already he missed the bliss that could only be found in a dreamless sleep. He opened his eyes, a small groan of pain falling from his lips as he realized just where he was. Only then did he recall the hours leading up to it and instantly, he realized just how much he fucked up. Especially when he heard Dave speak.

Klaus turned his head to see Dave sitting beside him but rather than the smiling face that usually greets him, all Klaus could see was hurt and anger. Something he had seen many times over the years but never on Dave.

“Was it a one-time thing or...have you been using this whole time?”

The question cut like a knife but before Klaus could answer, Dave stood.

“Actually, we'll talk about this later. I have to get back to work.” Never before had Dave sounded so _cold_ , so _angry_. It made his heart _ache_. Klaus wanted to ask for him to stay but didn't. Instead, he simply nodded and watched as Dave began to walk away only to stop a foot or so away though he made no move to look at Klaus as he added, “You could have died.” With that, Dave walked off, leaving Klaus laying there alone.

Klaus lingered there for a while, hoping Dave would come back. Hoping that they could talk about it, that he could try and make things right but Dave didn't come back. So, Klaus grabbed his things and left.

For hours, Klaus lingered by Dave's building. Despite the heat, he waited outside, his heart and mind racing. Why was it that he fucked up everything good that came into his life? Why did everything he love turned to ash? Truthfully, he knew it was his fault. He had chosen to keep it a secret. He chose to keep using. He had no one to blame for himself. A fact that Ben had no problem pointing out.

“I know, okay?” Klaus looked at his brother and sighed. Maybe this was for the best. Dave deserved better than this. Better than _him_.

“Incoming,” Ben said, gesturing with his head.

Klaus turned to see Dave walking up, his expression tense. “Dave...I...”

“Not here. Upstairs.”

Shutting his mouth, Klaus nodded and followed Dave to his apartment. He felt sick as he watched in silence as Dave hang up his bag and keys. Anxiety washed over him as he watched Dave move about the small kitchen, filling a kettle with water and putting it to boil before he finally stopped and looked at Klaus. The room was silent and for the first time with Dave, Klaus feared that silence.

“Tell me you haven't been using this whole time,” Dave stated at last. His voice was soft and his expression hopeful as he looked at Klaus, his eyes searching for something. Then, when Klaus remained silent, he sighed. “So, were you just not planning on telling me? Were you just going to lie to me forever?”

“It's not...“

“ _It's not what, Klaus?_ ”

“I wasn't–“

“I can't believe I was so stupid! All this time you were –what? _High_? Have I _ever_ seen you sober? I mean, did you really think I would have never found out? – _You could have_ _ **died**_ _, Klaus_! Do you realize that? Do you realize how close you could have been to not coming back? How close I came to losing you?”

Flinching, Klaus dropped his gaze. “I'm sorry.” The apology was small and he couldn't make himself look at Dave, worried he would just yell again. Klaus listened as Dave took in a breath only to sigh it out.

“Sorry doesn't fix it,” Dave whispered, all the anger he had a second ago vanishing just as quickly as it came. “Why didn't you tell me? I would have _understood_. I would have helped.”

Klaus looked at Dave. It hurt to see the way Dave looked at him. To see that hurt in his eyes. “I don't know... I thought...” Klaus paused, trying to find the words to describe just what he thought. “I didn't think you would want me if you knew. I didn't...” He didn't think they would last as long as they did. He never imagined Dave would have wanted him around for this long.

This time Dave was silent. Klaus looked at his hands but could still feel the weight of Dave's gaze. The silence was unbearable but Klaus couldn't bring himself to break it. He knew he should offer to go. To make this easier on the both of them and remove himself from the situation but couldn't. In the months since they had begun to date, Dave had quickly become so _important_ to him and the thought of losing him... It hurt too much to even consider.

“I can't do this,” Dave whispered at last 'causing Klaus to look at him, pain flashing in his eyes.

' _No. Please_ ,' Klaus thought though he couldn't get the words out. He could only stare at Dave as his chest and throat tightened. _It was hard to breathe_.

“I can't love someone who's willingly killing themselves. Seeing you like that –I can't do it. I thought I could but I just... I can't.”

Klaus felt like he couldn't breathe. Standing there, staring at Dave, he tried to get himself to say or do something. _Anything_ other but stand there in silence. Slowly his vision blurred as tears began to well up in his eyes. Klaus took in a deep and shaky breath, trying to will himself not to cry. The last thing he needed to do was cry. He swallowed and tried to ignore the way his chest ached, feeling like Dave had torn him open. “O-okay,” Klaus whispered after a long beat of silence, unable to say anything else. “I should...” Klaus breathed in only to let the breath out with a sob. _Fuck_.

Before he or Dave could say anything more, he turned and left.


	18. Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late. Apologies. I haven't been feeling great mental health-wise but I finally managed to edit/rewrite this chapter because it was a big old mess. Hope you guys like it. ♥
> 
> There are references to substance abuse as well as a bit of blood and gore. Also, I know I said it before but want to reiterate that this is in no way trying to romanticize, glorify, or make light of substance abuse which is a very serious thing and should be treated as such.

A week passed and then another but still, Dave replayed their last conversation over in his mind. He tried to find Klaus after it happened and even tried to call Diego but every call went unanswered. It was understandable. Dave knew he had no right to call just as he had no right to look for Klaus even if he regretted letting him walk away.

Sitting on the bus, Dave couldn't shake off the image of Klaus when they last saw each other. The way he seemed to shrink in on himself, the sound of his cry before he ran off. He hated how things ended and missed Klaus. He had just been so angry and so hurt over what happened that he didn't think. Logically he knew it was probably best to end things with Klaus. After all, he lied to him. For months he had been using while pretending that he was going to meetings. Months of pretending that everything was fine and that hurt. He loved Klaus. Even now he did but that didn't change the fact that that trust was broken. Still, life without him was unbearably _empty_.

He missed waking up beside Klaus, seeing him smile or hearing him laugh. He missed just talking with him. It didn't matter if they were talking about something important or just whispering cheesy little jokes to one another when they couldn't sleep. He just missed _him_. So lost in his thoughts, Dave almost missed his stop, realizing just before the bus began to pull away. He thanked the bus driver and wished her a good night as he stepped off sighed. The walk back to his apartment was quiet and as he neared the building, he stupidly still expected Klaus to be standing outside, a lit cigarette dangling from his smiling lips as he leaned against the wall. But like each day before, his heart sank when he saw that no one waiting for him.

Silently, Dave checked his mail and trudged up the steps to his apartment. Like always, he hung up his things and flopped face down on the couch with a heavy sigh. He stayed like that for a good few minutes before he turned his head allowing his eyes to land on the box of Klaus' things on his coffee table. It wasn't much. A few articles of clothing, his toothbrush, a scattering of various little things he left around the apartment, but it was enough to have Dave wanting to cry. He stood up and grabbed the box to look through it yet again. Inside, he found a strip of pictures they had taken in one of those cheesy little photo booths. Seeing their smiling faces staring up at him, he almost hated how happy they looked. He couldn't help but wonder if Klaus was high even then. He had to be. How had he not noticed all that time? Was he blind? Stupid? Despite the anger and hurt that washed over him as he stared at the images of what was –without a doubt– the happiest time of his life, he found his chest still aching with loss. Loss of what they were. Of what they could have been. Of all the things he had daydreamed about. A home, a family, a whole life that would never be.

It was somewhere between looking at those photos and hugging a mesh crop top that Dave fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. And he would have stayed there all night if it hadn't been for a soft knocking at his door. Sitting up, Dave looked at his phone to see it was nearly four in the morning. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and dropped the mesh top back in the box before he stood just as the visitor knocked again, making him wish he had slept on his bed instead. At least then he could ignore it.

“Coming,” he called out, wondering who the hell would be knocking at his door so early in the morning. Dave paused, a hand on his deadbolt, as he peeked through the peephole to see Mrs. Whittleman and beside her a very bruised and disheveled Klaus. ' _Oh_.' Without another thought, Dave unlocked the door, his gaze bouncing from Klaus to Mrs. Whittleman who was holding a bag of dry cat food to her chest and back again.

“Hello, dear,” she greeted with a sad smile. “I found him sitting outside and thought I should bring him to you.”

“Thank you.” Dave offered her a quick smile before moving to help Klaus into his apartment.

“Well, you have a goodnight, dear. If either of you need anything, don't be afraid to give me a call.” Mrs. Whittleman smiled and looked at Klaus, her expression soft, almost motherly. “And you be careful. I hope you feel better soon.”

Dave thanked her one more time before closing the door and turning back to look at Klaus. He reeked of alcohol and he kept his gaze on the floor. “Come on. Let's get you cleaned up,” Dave whispered as he took Klaus' hand and gently tugged him to his bathroom where the lighting was better. Without a word, he sat Klaus down on the toilet and grabbed his kit from one of his drawers. “So what happened?”

Dave looked at Klaus who stayed silent, his gaze focused intensely on the black and white tiles on the bathroom's floor.

“I'm sorry,” Klaus whispered after a long stretch of silence. His voice was hoarse but soft. As if he were afraid to speak too loudly in the small space. It hurt to hear but not as much as his next words did. “I shouldn't be here. She didn't know... I should go.”

“No. Sit. Please.” Dave placed a gentle hand on Klaus' shoulder when Klaus began to rise before tilting up his chin to get a better look at his face. Despite everything, he missed Klaus and it was never more apparent than it was in that moment. It hurt to be able to see and touch him again. Almost as much as it hurt to see the bruises and contusions on his face. “So, what happened?”

“Fell down some stairs.”

“Come on. I know you better than that. What really happened?”

Klaus sighed. “I got into an argument with–” Klaus hissed as Dave tried to gently wipe his face with a damp cloth.

“Sorry.”

“I got into an argument with some guy.”

Hearing that, Dave paused, and he would have been lying if the thought of someone hurting Klaus didn't make him angry.

“I'm fine though. It's not as bad as it looks.”

“Well, it _looks_ pretty bad.” Speaking, Dave dabbed at the blood on Klaus' forehead to get a better look at the cut beneath. “I don't think you need stitches though.”

“Finally some good news.”

A silence fell between them as Dave worked to clean the cuts before he finally spoke up again, feeling nervous now. “I've been looking for you.”

Klaus looked at him, expression curious but cautious. “Why?”

“I wanted to talk to you... I miss you.” The confession was quiet and Dave pulled his hand away to look Klaus in the eyes. “I'm sorry about what I said the last time you were here. I didn't... I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I get why you didn't tell me or I think I do, but seeing you on that gurney... It scared me. I thought you were going to die and the thought of losing you like that...” Dave's words trailed off as he took in a deep breath, not wanting to think about what it would be like to never see Klaus again. “I love you and I don't want to lose you to something like that, but I do miss you. I miss waking up next to you and having you here. I want to be with you but I want you to want to stick around and if you keep going like this...,” he gestured to Klaus' face, “you won't be, and I don't just mean picking fights with people. I mean the drugs and the drinking. You need to get help, Klaus. Not for me but for yourself.”

Klaus stayed silent for a long time before finally speaking, his voice so soft that Dave almost it. “Did you just say you love me?”

“Is that really what you took from all that?”

“No no. I heard the rest. I just wanted to make sure I heard that part right.”

Dave couldn't help but breathe out a soft laugh. “Yes, I said I love you but that doesn't change anything, Klaus. I can't be with someone who's choosing to kill themselves.”

“I love you too...”

Of all the times Dave imagined himself saying and hearing those words, never did he imagine it would be like this and never did he imagine that it would hurt.

“I want help,” Klaus added after a beat of silent contemplation, the words surprising Dave. “Please. I–”

“–Don't say that just because you think it's what I want to hear.” Dave put down the bloody gauze in his hand and looked at Klaus, his expression serious. As much as he wanted Klaus to get help, it wouldn't work if he didn't really want it. That much he knew.

“I'm not.” The way Klaus looked at him almost had him giving in. “Please. I want to. I want to...get sober. Here.” Klaus dug around in his pockets and pulled out a small baggie with pills, holding it out to Dave. “Take them. I don't want them.” Well, that was a lie. He could see the way Klaus looked at those pills. He could easily see the want and _need_ in his eyes, but Klaus didn't pull away. Instead, he gave the baggie a small shake until Dave gently took them from him.

Dave looked at the pills then to Klaus. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that he could get clean just like that, but from everything he had read, he knew it wasn't that easy. Still, he missed Klaus and wanted to help him. He wanted Klaus in his life again.

“I can't promise I won't fuck up,” Klaus added after a second. “I'll probably fuck but I want to try to do this. Life's better with you in it and if I have to give up drugs to keep you in it...I can do that.”

“Klaus...”

“I'm serious. Give me another chance. Let me try. Please.”

Dave looked down at the pills again, turned the bag over in his hand as he thought this over. He wondered if Klaus was serious about this or if this was just something he would regret saying in the morning. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to trust that Klaus wanted this change. That he would stick with it but he had thought that once before. Still, he closed his fingers around the bag of pills and nodded, not realizing his decision was made until that moment.  He knew he would probably regret this. Knew that Klaus would probably relapse again, but he would have been lying if he said he didn't miss the fuck out of him and maybe Klaus was serious. Maybe he could get better. Maybe this was a second chance for both of them.“Okay. I can make some calls. I can try and get you a bed somewhere–“

“–Can I do it here?” The request was quick and as Dave looked up, he could see just how hopeful Klaus looked. Desperate even.

“Here?”

“Yeah. People detox at home all the time. Please. If I go to someplace I'll just find someone to give me what I want.”  
Dave took a moment to think, unsure if this was a good idea or not. While, yes, he could help Klaus medically, he wasn't sure he knew how to handle this. Still, he nodded.“Okay, but these...” He held up the baggie. “...are getting flushed. I don't want them here.”

Something akin to pain flashed across Klaus' features but he nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay. Now, let me finish getting you cleaned up.” He placed the baggie down and picked up some ointment but before he could touch the wound again, Klaus touched his hand to catch his attention.

“Thank you.”

“You don't need to thank me. Just sit still. I don't want to accidentally jab a cut.”

“Yes, sir.”


	19. Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emetophobia tw as well as mentions of substance abuse and detox.

Waking up the following morning, Klaus felt like twice stepped on dog shit which wasn't all that surprising. Most of his mornings started off that way. What was surprising, however, was that he wasn't in some seedy motel or on a park bench. He was in Dave's bed. Turning over, he saw Dave sleeping soundly beside him. It was something he had loved waking up to see for months and something he missed terribly over the last couple of weeks. What he didn't understand was how or why he was seeing it now. Despite his confusion, he gave himself a second to enjoy this. A second to pretend that everything was okay.

“Morning,” Ben whispered, scaring the ever-living Hell out of Klaus. A fact that Ben seemed to delight in just a little.

Klaus turned over to look at his brother with as much disdain as he could muster so early in the morning only for it to falter halfway through as he allowed his head to fall back on the pillow with a soft groan. Every bit of him ached and as he looked down, he saw that he was wearing some of Dave's clothes. Slowly bits and pieces of the night's events came back to him and slowly he grew more horrified. He really was the kind of person to show up at an ex's drunk. As if his life wasn't pathetic enough.

As carefully as he could, Klaus slipped out of the bed and headed towards Dave's bathroom to get a look at the damage. His poor face was bruised and so was his torso. The fight wasn't exactly memorable but as he stood there, he recalled what happened after. Specifically sitting on the toilet while Dave patched him up. That and deciding to get sober. A decision he was even less thrilled about now.

“They're gone,” Ben said as Klaus began to look for the baggy he had foolishly given away. “He flushed them, remember?”

The memory flashed in his mind and he groaned again. “ _Fuck_. Why did you let me do that?”

“Let you give away your pills? Why do you think?”

Klaus let out a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, yeah.” He waved his brother off then went for his clothes, hoping to find a stray pill or at the very least enough cash to get more. He found nothing. Well, nothing aside from a Chuck E. Cheese token that he had no memory of getting and a piece of sea glass that matched his eyes. A gift from Dave and a reminder of the day they spent on the beach.

“So I'm guessing the whole sobriety plea was bullshit then?”

“No. I meant it when I said it.”

“But not anymore.”

Klaus turned to look at his brother, his expression pained.

“No...” Before Klaus could say any more, he heard footsteps moving around the apartment, letting him know Dave was awake. “It's not that easy.”

“Yes, it is. Dave's willing to help you. Let him help you.”

Klaus looked down at the pants he held and then the piece of smooth glass still clasped in his hand. He turned it over with his fingers until Ben spoke, catching his attention.

“At least tell him. He doesn't deserve you lying to him again.”

“Fine,” Klaus stated at last. Though the thought made his heart plummet. “I'll tell him.” Pocketing the memento, Klaus put his pants back on the ground and left the bathroom. He found Dave in the kitchen making coffee and humming quietly to himself. Rather than walk in, Klaus lingered in the doorway to watch as he moved around the kitchen seemingly so carefree. It was then that he was reminded just how much he loved Dave and how much he had missed him in those two weeks –even if a good portion of that time was a blur of drugs and alcohol. He had missed him and he had missed this. Seeing him making breakfast, his hair disheveled from sleep, and hearing him hum. It was one of his favorite things to watch him just go about his morning routine.

“Morning,” Dave said with a tentative smile, snapping Klaus from his thoughts. “Coffee's almost done. Want some?”

“Yeah. I would love a cup.” Dave's smile was contagious and Klaus couldn't keep from returning it as he inched into the kitchen with the caution of a wary stray. It felt weird to be back there. To stand in a kitchen he must have spent days in by now just talking to and keeping Dave company as he cooked. How many hours did he spend playing sous chef? How many times had they danced in that small space as they waited for the food to cook or sat side by side watching a cake rise as they talked about any old thing that popped into their head? How often did he imagine spending the rest of his life in this small apartment, doing things like cuddling on the couch or listening to Dave read out loud in bed?  How many times did he allow himself to entertain the idea of a future with Dave in it?

“How are you feeling?”

Klaus blinked and looked at Dave, noting the oh so familiar concern in his eyes. Concern he didn't feel like he deserved. “Like a truck full of shit ran me over.”

“Yeah, I figured. There's a cup of water and some ibuprofen on the counter if you want it.”

Klaus looked at the glass and two small pills. It would do nothing to help either his pounding head or the soreness he felt, but he took it anyway, mumbling a small thanks as he swallowed them dry. Then, as an afterthought, took a sip of water. “So about last night...” His words were cautious even to him and Dave stopped what he was doing to give him his full attention.

“Yeah?”

Klaus hesitated, allowing himself a moment more to think. He loved Dave. He loved the life he had started with him and as he stood there, he wondered if drugs were worth giving all that up. If he was really going to throw away the best thing that ever happened to him for a good high. Normally, he would have without so much as a second thought, but this was different. This was _Dave_.

“Everything okay?”  

“What? Yeah. I just... I wanted to thank you.” He could easily see the relief on Dave's face.

“I already told you, you don't need to thank me.” Dave smiled again as he stirred some sugar into the coffee before handing it to Klaus and picking up his own cup. “I called work. I'm taking some time off so we can get you detoxed.”

“Oh, you don't need to–“

“–I want to. I don't want you doing this alone. Besides, I could use a break from work anyway.” Dave blew into his cup and took a small tentative sip. An action Klaus copied and like always, the coffee was perfect. “You up for some food? I'm thinking pancakes. Unless you want something else.”

“No. Pancakes are perfect.”

“Chocolate chips?”

“Yes, please.”

The rest of their morning was peaceful as was their afternoon but as evening started to roll in, Klaus began to feel it. They were sitting on the couch when it started. At first, he tried to hide it but after a few hours, Dave noticed that Klaus was beginning to shift uncomfortably, only furthering his fidgeting.

“You okay?”

“Yup. I'm fine,” Klaus assured even though he felt like he was crawling out of his skin. He could feel Dave's worried gaze on him as he curled up, hugging his knees and biting on his nails. Klaus stifled a yawn though it didn't go unnoticed.

“Maybe we should turn in early.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Klaus didn't sleep the whole night. Instead, he laid there staring at the ceiling and listening to Dave's soft breaths after he accidentally drifted off midway through a sentence. What he wanted to do was sneak out. He wanted to call Blue and get something to take the edge off. One pill. That was all he needed. One pill to ease him into it. He felt so stupid for having given his away. He should have saved one or two. Just a little. He just needed a little.

Still, despite the gnawing desire to get up and find Blue or really anyone who can give him what he needed, he stayed there. He turned over and watched Dave sleeping peacefully, tried to ignore the way his muscles cramped as nausea began to wash over him. It was only going to get worse. He knew this. _It was going to get so much worse._

His skin was burning and he long since sweated through the t-shirt Dave had given him to wear. Laying curled up, he swallowed back the bile working it's way up his throat and tried to ignore the way his entire body seemed to scream for a hit. Just one. One pill. One shot. One _anything_. Anything to make this go away.

By the time Dave woke up, Klaus was kneeling in front of the toilet. He had long since run out of anything to throw up but that didn't stop his body from trying. Each dry heave was excruciating. Klaus didn't realize he wasn't alone until he felt a hand rubbing small circles on his back. Dave continued this until the heaving stopped again and Klaus sank onto the floor with a broken sob. He looked like shit, he knew this, but he also didn't care. _What he wouldn't give for a fucking pill._

“Come on, love. Let's get you back to bed.”

Klaus did not protest as Dave helped him off the floor and back into his bed. He simply curled up, his body shaking as he tried like hell to make himself smaller as if taking up less space would help to ease his suffering. It was then that he hated himself for doing this to himself. He regretted ever taking that first pill, hated that he ever learned how to keep the ghosts away.

Another small sob fell from his lips as he curled tighter, his body shaking and nauseous. He was so lost in the pain of it all, he didn't feel Dave's comforting hand on his back anymore or hear the words he softly whispered to let him know that he would be okay. That he could do this. He couldn't. _He felt like he was going to die._ He _wanted_ to die.

The days and nights melted together. He caught bits of restless sleep when he could. He tossed and turned, argued when it all felt like too much, sobbed and pleaded during worst of it. He bargained and cursed, thrashed and cried. Dave stayed with him the entire time. He laid with him, held his hand, talked to him, made sure he at least drank water when he refused to eat. He kept him sane.

Waking up, Klaus finally felt better. Not perfect, but no longer in pain. He turned over to see Dave laying awake and watching him.

“Morning,” Klaus whispered.

“Morning.” Dave smiled and so did Klaus. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” The way Dave's smile brightened made it all worth it.

“I'm glad to hear that. You finally up for some breakfast?”

“Mm Toast. Toast sounds nice.”

“Coming right up.”

Klaus watched as Dave got up and left the room before he allowed himself to turn onto his back. It was the first time in literal years that he felt okay. Clear-headed. Maybe even happy? No, definitely happy. He knew it was going to be a long road. That staying sober was harder than detoxing, but for the first time in his life, he felt optimistic. He felt like he had a future and that it was worth looking foreword to.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“I finally unpacked the last box,” Dave exclaimed victoriously as he walked into the living room to see his boyfriend sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in his hands and his gaze set on the TV. “We are _officially_ moved in.”

It had been over a year since Klaus chose to get clean and Dave could not have been prouder. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Klaus had relapsed here and there but he was always honest about it and they got through it together.

“Only thing is. I have no idea where to put that hideous cat figurine you got from Mrs. Whittleman. I swear its eyes follow you everywhere. It's creepy. Are you sure you want to keep it?” He was teasing, of course. While the cat was creepy as all hell and truly the most hideous little tchotchke anyone has ever created, he knew that Klaus loved it and that alone was worth keeping it around. Dave looked at the figurine in his hands with a small smile though it faded as Klaus didn't reply. “Babe, you okay?”

It was only then that Klaus finally moved, turning to look at Dave, his expression unreadable.

“Klaus?”

“My dad died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh It's finally done. I'm honestly debating writing a continuation on this 'cause I some ideas but I'll probably write all that out before posting anything. Also, thank you to literally everyone who read, commented or left kudos on this. It honestly makes me so happy to know people liked this little thing. Much love ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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